Timbo's Playoff Preview

It's playoff season gentlemen, time for us to crown a champion, and time for 11 teams to avoid the Murphy. Congrats on another successful season of pussy palace and congrats to our regular season first place finisher alllllllllll firrreeddddd upppp. Let's jump right into our matchups and see what's what.

First matchup all fired up, the team everyone's gunning for, the number one seed vs the mean machine child beaters, the team everyone loves to hate and everyone puts a little more stock into beating. Afu has scored 163 per game to the mean machines 152. Key players for afu Russell Wilson, can he keep up his scoring of the last few weeks? Mike Evans can he be the 30 point home run threat difference in the game that made Mike spend a hefty price to acquire? And for the mean machine it's going to be Aaron Rodgers can he give the mean machine the boost they've been waiting for all season? And freeman can he live up to the expectations placed on his shoulders since the trade that rocked the league and propelled the king to elite status? Prediction in the end, the mean machine will need their best week and an off week from all fired up to win this week, and that is asking too much. All fired up wins this one 174148.

Next up is we are cait, the second seed vs the monstars at 7. This season we are cait is averaging 166 per week to the monstars 148, the lowest of the playoff teams. Key players for cait are Brady and Hopkins. Brady looks to rebound from a bad loss as well as Hopkins. Monstars have cam and Olsen, and Olsen has been proving me wrong as I've hated him all year. I've been counting this team out all year and, the trend will continue. Cait has too much firepower and will blow out the monstars 183138.

On we go, and the matchups get more and more interesting. We have the Trojans at the three seed and team dta at the six. This is the matchup of the week by far, dta has been sneaky good this year averaging 162 points. Machete has the edge here coming in at 167 ppw. Machete has been making solid additions all year maybe one of the pickups of the season in Rawls. I've been hating on team dta all year but this week they are my UPSET WATCH for the week. The Trojans will be done in by the red rider bbgun and hiltons lack of a quarterback. Manning will go off against the Dolphins and dta will squeak this one out 167159

Last but not least we have the 45 matchup, fuck yourself coming in scoring 160 per game on the season and hailmary at 155. This is my LOCK OF THE WEEK. Rick will not be able to overcome the loss of gronk and jimmy. Ben and brown are fighting for a playoff spot and will lead Gambs to a victory this week. It won't even be close, 197132 gfy.

Won't spend a lot of time on the Murphy bowl, rookie will take care of business and send jd packing. The gingers will get OUT of the running for the award named after one of their co owners and take down Ortiz. Leaving the best possible matchup for the Murphy award jd vs ewwwwwwtttizzzz. 

ESPN BDBN Regular Season Wrap Up

https://soundcloud.com/user-160991445/12-4-full

Playoff scenarios

By Thomas Davis

6 teams are in: All Fired Up, We Are Cait, The Trojans, Hailmary to the King, Team GFY, and Team DTA

How everyone gets in

Monstars – sitting in the driver’s seat of the 7 seed, they get in with a win against the Ginger Snaps. He can also lock up a spot with losses by Mean Machine, The Romosexuals, and Vonteego Cross

The Rookie- He also needs a win against DTA. These teams can’t catch the DTA for the 6 seed. He can also lock up a spot with losses by Mean Machine, The Romosexuals, and Vonteego Cross

Mean Machine Child Beaters – A win against Hailmary to the King along with a loss by the Monstars or The Rookie along with The Romosexuals not outscoring them by 20.8 points in a win or Vonteego Cross outscoring them in a win by 41.4 points. 

The Romosexuals – A win against Team GFY, a loss by either Monstars or The Rookie, and either a loss by Mean Machine or outscoring them by 20.8 points along with not being outscored by Vonteego Cross by 20.7 points.

Vonteego Cross – A win against All Fired Up, a loss by either Monstars or The Rookie, and either a loss by Mean Machine or outscoring them by 41.4 points along with a loss by The Romosexuals or outscoring them by 20.7 points.

Gingersnaps- Wait til next year

 

Note:  We are Cait vs The Trojans – this matchup is for the number 2 seed in the playoffs, since it’s highly unlikely Hailmary to the King will outscore We are Cait by 66.7 points or The Trojans by 95.1 points. This is the only matchup between two teams that have clinched playoff berths so far.

Good Luck to everyone

Timbo's Quarterly Analysis 3

Well fellas it's getting down to the end of the season, my next one will be to end the season praising whoever the champs may be, and analyzing the complete seasons of each team. Since the last TQA some things have changed, others have stayed the same, and some have gotten much worse. All fired up has CLINCHED the regular season and is gearing up for a playoff run, the rest of the pack has faded, does that mean AFU can salsa into the pussy palace championship? Or does someone have what it takes to knock them off? Going to be tough with Lacy starting to heat up, the great and highly coveted stud receiver Cooper, Evans is also starting to pick it up. It's hard not to pick this team to win it all as they have dominated the regular season, but we have seen it done before, ZIMBO AND GINGER COUGH COUGH.  

    We are cait, the trojans, fuck yourself, and the king, all coming into the last week of the season at 7-4. Who will finish second? Timbo is going with we are cait. I think they'll take care of the Trojans and secure the number two spot, followed by fuck yourself at the three seed. While I think they win this week, without a healthy Big Ben I don't think fuck yourself can score enough to sneak into second place. The king should take care of a weak child beaters team despite a big gronk injury which will put them at the four seed. That puts the Trojans at the five due to the loss. 

Team dta keeps riding the roller coaster of great weeks and mediocre weeks from the likes of manning and Marshall, they'll need to come on strong to withstand the rookies recent onslaught of points, this matchup will determine the sixth seed and I'm gonna shock everyone and pick the rookie to lock up his playoff spot with a big performance from ap. That should give the monstars the sixth seed with them just finding ways to win. Dta following at the seven, and the rookie coming in at 8. Which one of these bottom half teams has the biggest potential to knock off one of the top teams? As much as it pains me to say this I'm gonna go with the rookie, if he gets strong qb play, the threat of ap going off at will puts any team he goes up against in danger. 

   The consolation bracket, who will walk away with the dreaded Murphy award?? My pick is ewtiz and vonteego cross. Matty ice and his poor play of late is going to sink Ortiz in the finals of the Murphy bowl with the gingers. My pick to win the consolation bracket is the mean machine over the romosexuals, while the wins haven't been there, still a solid and top scoring team. Look for them to rebound and be very strong next year with the option to pick their draft position, and two good keepers. Better luck next year to jd as the injuries mounted and too many quality players not making a difference for his team.

11/19 Shootin' The Breeze Returns

https://soundcloud.com/user-160991445/1119-shootin-the-breeze-returns

Week 9 Junkie Spreads

Rick is taking bets on the following...

Romosexuals -4 vs Gingersnaps +4

DTA vs Mean Machine pick em

Hambeast -9 vs Vonetego Cross +9

Hailmary to the king -7.5 vs TGFY +7.5

AFU -17.5 vs Monstars +17.5

Trojans -12 vs Rookie +12

Shootin the SHIT Episode 1

https://soundcloud.com/joshua-davis-60/shooting-the-shit-ep1-at-bar

Timbo’s 2nd Quarterly Analysis

                 

Second quarter of the 2015-2016 pussy palace season

 

  Hello everyone and welcome to the second edition of Timbo’s quarterly analysis. A ton has gone on since the last quarter ended and this has been another interesting season to say the least. Rick as usual couldn't resist making a flurry of trades and as a result his team is now a big time contender. All fired up has continued their domination and a few other teams have separated themselves from the pack. While others have made trades they thought would have helped but they're still wallowing at the bottom, I'm looking at you mean machine and bye week. So let's get into the team by team analysis according to Timbo.

 

Coming in at the number one spot is ALLLLLLLLL FIRED UP. Mike has been powered by his strong tight end play and his early draft gamble on Amari Cooper.  He sured up his quarterbacks by trading for a returning to form drew Brees who just came off an epic 500 yard 7 touchdown performance and once again proving that the rookie doesn't know what he's doing. The two second place teams are coming on strong with big numbers so all fired up will need contributions from everyone to stay in first and take the regular season trophy home. 

 

Two teams in second are battling it out to make it tough on all fired up. The Trojans, who had an uncharacteristic horrible week scoring wise and losing their spot on the island narrowly. And fabish and Tom's team who just plain took the mean machine to the woodshed. The Trojans are anchored by a great qb wr combo in aj green and Andy Dalton who have just exploded offensively this season, however the same still applies can they finish the season strong and prove the doubters wrong? Me being one of the doubters burned by aj green last year, I don't think this team has what it takes to go all the way due to too many inconsistencies. 

Next up is Tom and fabish’s team, who is riding tfb harder than Gisele ever could and shows no signs of slowing down. This team is deep and scary and is my pick half way through the season to take home the title. The emergence of Willie Snead and James Jones has sent this team into the stratosphere and there just aren't any weak spots in this lineup.

Next up are the middle of the pack teams, the King, fuck yourself, the monstars, child beaters, and dta. Out of these teams, the King looks like he is poised to make a run and make some noise in the playoffs. He's made some great moves acquiring Julio, gronk, and tannehill. Rick will be tough to beat come playoff time. Fuck yourself is the other solid team in this pack. Derek Carr is coming into his own and he has lethal wide receivers, the stretch run should be fun with all these very strong teams. Team dta is just meh, Manning and Marshall can be good enough to keep them afloat but I don't believe they'll be making any type of run in the playoffs. The monstars have benefited from weak play against them as they are second to last in points scored. Cam is like cam in real life with no supporting cast. Don't think this team has enough to float into the playoffs. 

  This brings me to the mean machine. This team has been hurt by lack of depth due to trying to acquire some firepower, when fully assembled this team has some decent potential but they need to make it through the rest of the bye weeks in contention for that to matter. Big bold highly controversial moves will either be the undoing, or the building blocks of a dynasty for this team with some amazing keeper options. On a good day this team which was saved by a vetoed trade, can hang with any team. But if Rodgers continues to struggle they could miss the playoffs entirely.

 

  This brings me to the bottom quarter of the league, a surprise name here in the romosexuals as they were thought by some to be the team to beat this year, and they have been, beaten, badly. The team has underperformed at every turn and in my mind is now OUT of contention as are the Mets! Andrew luck has been a bust and Calvin is in one of the worst offenses. Not even great keeper potential on this team as he can no longer keep luck, Hyde is atrocious, and who know what bell will look like coming back from this surgery. On to the commish, nothing sexy about this team it is very un- ortizlike. Gurley though is shaping up to be a monster. Ortiz falls in the category of team to watch Next year if he corrects his drafting mistakes and can build around the Gurley man. Look for this team to spoil a season or two down the stretch. 

 

    That brings me to the bottom, the cellar dwellers, the trash of the league. Gingers, who haven't had their first round pick all year and didn't hit on many of their picks, don't have much they can really count on week in and week out. No keepers to speak of, and no hope to make the playoffs. That brings me to the ROOKIE, the cockiest piece of shit team I've ever had the displeasure of creating a rivalry with. Ortiz must have teabagged you and rubbed his terrible drafting skills, trading skills, and cockiness with a terrible team off on you. I honestly have never seen any worse of a team be as cocky as the rookie. My first four OUT of the playoffs are the romosexuals, the gingers, the bye week, and the monstars. This concludes my quarterly analysis, the next will come in three weeks!

 

 

Week 8 Shootin the Breeze

https://m.soundcloud.com/kbasta1118/20151029-191315-1a

Method To The Madness

If spelling is bad or sentences suck, I apologies in advance, I hate to proof read, and I rely on spell check for anything and everything!!! I have used quoted from people I've dealt with but will keep names out Enjoy....

By: Joe 2

At the center of controversy of 80% of trades you will find the MMCB. At draft day they moved what "8 out of 12 league members would have picked #1 over all " (Source anonymous) .The leagued cried for their head "they should be voted out" "they could have got more" "JD has the best team in the league" "worst trade since Murphy" I can go on but you get the idea. To everyone's surprise the MMCB started off 3-0 behind the the strong core of Aaron Rodgers, Rob Gronkowski, Emmanuel Sanders, and the emergence of players like Tyrod Taylor, and Chris Johnson  put them in the conversation of championship caliber. 

Making their first trade of the season and certainty not last, the MMCB made a trade with the rookies sending Andre Johnson and Rashad Jennings, in  return they would receive Doug Baldwin. A small move they did not upset he core players, just a minor tweak. Looking at the trade now MMCB still hold both players where the rookies cut Andre Johnson and hardly ever use Jennings. Vereen still serves as a Flex/bye week filler as does Baldwin.

Next the MMCB had to address their growing weakness at RB, so they contacted an old friend in Chris Ivory. After a few days of going back and forth with Vonteego Cross, both teams came to terms and decided to swap Eric Decker, Collin Kaepernick, and Luke Kuechly, in exchange for Chris Ivory, Nick the league bitch Foles and Paul Posluszny. Looking at the trade now zero of those players are currently on MMCB, where Vonteego Cross still has Decker and Kuechly. Ivory served hes need to help stabilize they roster RB needs but would soon be shipped out. Posluszny cut, Foles traded, Ivory traded. 

After these two traded the MMCB started to lose steam and had to shake up the roster, the team was still scoring between 150-160 per week but wasn't getting the job done. One of the owners wasn't to happy!! On going talks with Hail Mary to the Kings for about 3 days about a much coveted player going on a historic streak of 30 Pts per game was wanted BAD!!! He was ready to go all in and send what ever he had to to get this guy. The other half wanted no part of this "if you think it will make the team better by all means go for it" And that's all he needed =).

Who would have thought that the MMCB could be at the center of ANOTHER mind boggling trade. This time only one person was on the side of MMCB "We were wrong about the Luck trade we could be wrong about this one too" (Anonymous) " You could have got more" "you got Raped" is still a popular one. But in reality could they have??? Everyone claims that a team could have got more but I will give an example later where that was proven false.(1) The MMCB sent the core of Rob Gronkowski (a guy they spoke so highly at the start of the year) Emmanuel Sanders (Peyton Manning's go to guy) Nick the bitch Foles, and Joseph Randle in exchange for arguably the leagues best keeper and maybe #1 overall RB, Matt "bye week filler" Cassel, Brandon Lafell and Ryan Matthews. What were they thinking on this!!!!

 (My Belief) The Broncos will look to run the ball more, resulting in a dip in production from the already dreadful passing game of Peyton Manning and a guy who falls off at the end of the season. Gronkowski will always be gronk, but consistency wont be there, much like the saints of the past, the Patriots just have to many mouths to feed, one day they can pound the ball into the ground with Blount or Lewis, the next week they might just want go pass happy with Gronk, Lafell, Edelman, and little Amandola. Foles is ehh he was irrelevant, and Randle I felt he was going to lose his job. Lone and behold he did. Davonta Freeman not only has keeper appeal but is the main weapon in that offense and will continue to be as long as Julio Jones is being double teamed. Cassel = Foles, Matthews is the wild card, this year he goes from good game to bad game, his good games are when he is given the opportunity to play, his bad is when Demarco is being fed just because. Ryan Matthews is the best weapon on the Eagles going forward and I see Chip getting him more involved. Lafell was just gravy added, I love having a weapon in the Patriots offense.  

 

The fantasy gods are looking over the MMCB, after agreeing  to a trade with the Romosexuals, they agreed on sending Aaron Rodgers, Vereen and CJ2K in exchange for Arian Foster, and Tony Romo. The MMCB loved it, they would have to tank a few games too wait for Romo but to hold the fort down Foster would add they extra 20 pts a game to a team that needed it. The league wasn't happy with us finding a loophole, so they thought they were slick and did the trade. After hours of arguing their point, the league was still in a uproar. The trade committee VETOED the deal and that was that. A few hours later I re-proposed the trade to the Romosexualls. It sat in the cue for about 45 min, then i withdrew it. I thought to my self id rather wait till Monday. Last 2 min of the game, Foster goes down and hes out for the season. Blessing in disguise, the MMCB loved it.

 Finally, to address the glaring hole at WR, MMCB go out and get their guy!! MMCB and DTA agree on sending a Packer to a Packer fan. Randall Cobb for Chris Ivory and Tavon Austin. This trade doesn't need much explanation, DTA needed RB help and MMCB needed a WR. Trade makes sense for both teams. CJ2K has proven to be legit so sending out a Flex guy in Ivory made sense to get a WR2 in Cobb, double points for tds with the combo of AR and RC.

(1) Some backlash prior to the trade again, "I could of got more" "I'm selling Rodgers to cheap" " I should be getting Robinson or Calvin back". So MMCB did something they don't normally do, they took the advice of the people and put him back on the trade block. Taking offers for about 4 days, MMCB started to ask for more, they contacted at least 6-7 teams, not a deal was to be made. Most responses were ''were under valuing the players we want' "were asking for to much" "my QB's are better or not that much worse" one team came pretty close but the extra piece they wanted didnt bode well for MMCB so they decided to keep him for a playoff push. Moral of the story "You have to run your own team. I try not to listen to the peanut gallery. There is a reason why everyone does a trade. Its to make their team better in how they perceive it" (anonymous). Couldn't have said it better my self!!!!!

Never count out the MMCB, each year they makes trades that make people wonder WTF were they thinking, and each time it ends up working out.They may not watch sports, but who needs to watch sports when the FF gods are looking over them!!!

 

The Reason For Veto

By: Thomas Davis

Ortiz has made 4 trades this year and none have gone before the trade committee. As posted in the group chat, the rules say all trades involving the commissioner go before the trade committee. The trade in question was accepted at 10:17am and upheld at 10:18am. The commissioner came to me in the preseason and asked me to approve his draft pick trade, which I did because it was an extremely simple trade.  I was asked by someone in the trade committee to not do that again because it gives one person too much power, which I have respected.  

The reason I vetoed the original trade is I do not want to set precedent that the commissioner can abuse our league rules whenever it fits his needs. Just like the previous veto, it wasn't the trade itself, but the process of the trade that required a veto. What happens if he makes a questionable deal at 11:55am on Thursday and Maggs is not responding to his phone or I am in a meeting? Ortiz now knows the rule and does not have precedent to just push his trade through and move on.  

At the time of this writing, the trade has been submitted through the proper channels and has been approved.

Trade deadline is approximately 49 hours away, good luck

The Rookie Write-Up

The 1-6 Rookie is going to SNEAK into the playoffs!

The Rookie has faced a brutal start to his pussy palace career, starting his rookie campaign at 1-6. Taking a look at history, we see superstars like Peyton Manning who threw an abysmal 28 interceptions in his rookie season and looked horrendous or Troy Aikmen and even Terry Bradshaw. These hall of famers or in Peyton's case future hall of famer struggled tremendously in their rookie campaigns but turned out to be something special. But for this rookie, he has taken his bumps n' bruises, learned from them and will show the world his adjustments. I truly BELIEVE this kid has a chance to sneak his way INTO the playoffs and I will tell you why.

The 4 teams that will NOT make the playoffs will be, The Gingersnaps, The Monstars, Mean Machine, and DTA. 

I don't have to provide much detail for this one because everyone knows the Gingersnaps are just flat out awful. They have nothing at receiver, nothing at running back, and essentially nothing at all. Unless the gingers get lucky again as they did vs. the chubby commissioner in Week 6 they should not win another game the rest of the season. They are the easy favorite to be wearing that maid costume come next September and I'll gladly take anyone's money who thinks otherwise.

The second team that will miss the playoffs will be The Monstars. The Monstars truly stink. Their wins come from weeks where they face teams on their worst scoring weeks (i.e. TGFY lowest week- 135.9). The Monstars have faced the 2nd fewest points in the entire league and that luck will soon run out. Aside from having one of the best schedules in the league, Eric's team gets HUGE production from 1 or 2 players a week and the rest of the team is garbage. This luck will soon run out and we will see this team struggle tremendously to put up just 130 points a week. You simply can't ride Danny Woodhead all season and rely on production from Garcon, Jackson, and Golden Tate...

Don't be surprised when a team who just a couple of weeks ago was a front runner to win the entire thing sinks to the bottom of the barrel. Mean Machine Child Beaters have single handedly traded their way out of playoff contention. They traded the best, I repeat the BEST tight end in the NFL and maybe even in the history of the NFL for a guy who saw 4 weeks of unbelievable production. Let's not forget they then threw in a top 10 WR in Emanuel Sanders and a starting QB in Nick Foles. All of this for a back that has not even proved himself to be a legit talent yet. I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what Joe 2 was thinking. This trade left them with nothing at WR and nothing at TE. They will NOT make the playoffs and sadly it is because of the trades they made. (Let's not forget we saved them from giving away the BEST QB in the game in AR for, yet again, peanuts...)

The team that may surprise everyone as a team that misses the playoffs is Team DTA. Kevin your team SUCKS. I listen to Shootin' the Breeze and hear Kevin talk about his team as a top contender and laugh out loud. This team is truly pitiful. They put all their eggs in one basket with Eli Manning who is awful despite having one of the best receiving cores in the league. Demarco Murray is horrible and will continue to struggle with the Eagles. Aside from decent depth at WR, this team has nothing. They WILL miss the playoffs and Kevin will never hear the end of it after all the shit he talks about other teams on STB. Kevin you are the Rex Ryan of PP. 

Now even though all of these teams will struggle and lose games, the rookie must start winning to climb the ladder to the 8 spot. I see a very favorable schedule ahead for the young buck. Week 8 he faces a banged up TGFY with their only legit back on a bye. He will win this matchup to get back on track. Week 9 brings a strong Trojan team to town. Luckily The Rookie will face them with 5 starters on a bye week leading to the rookies 3rd victory. Week 10 will be tough against the Romosexuals but this team may have been abandoned by their owner so anything could happen. Week 12 and 13 sees a shit DTA team and Child beaters who will be pondering on why they traded away a team of the century. Both of these teams will be getting a beaten from the rookies finally healthy squad led by Eddie Lacy back on track, Victor Cruz serving as a solid WR3 and Drew Brees playing for a playoff spot when he plays his best football. They will finish the year at 6-7and find themselves sitting at the 8 spot. This team will be dangerous come the playoffs and this league is being made aware of it now.

1st PP Trade in 2 Years VETOED

The first trade in over 2 seasons of Pussy Palace and this blockbuster trade was shut down by the PP Trade Committee. An argument can be made that the clarity of the rules could and should be adjusted moving foward however what foiled this trade was the excessive and open discussion of trade terms that would send each team players from each respected roster in a deal that would have been finalized at 1:10 PM Sunday afternoon- AFTER players would be locked. This would allow each team to hold onto each others players for 1 last weekend for matchup based purposes in addition to further roster construction among additional game integrity infringements. Basically- if the MMCB and RS kept this under wraps-this trade would have been processed without review. The issue was how it was brought about and expected in the group me forum.

After much uproar- PP members challenged teams that if indeed there was no competitive advantage to be had- to complete the trade today. Shortly thereafter- a new deal was in place including specifically WR Doug Baldwin -who just so happened to play last evening which ended in the same end result-locked player-halting the trade once again and a perhervial "fuck-you" to the other league members challenging the trade.

Bottom line - the trade was reviewed by the trade committee and viewed as collusion due to the manner it was presented and exposed prematurely to the league revealing a plot between the two teams to aid each other in a 1 week pact. The final vote came down to Mags who submitted the following statement-

"We are not here to pass judgment on who wins the trade or how lopsided this trade is. I do not believe the jd nor joe 2 have any intentions of combining teams or sabotaging the league. However anyone looks at the trade and who won the trade does not matter. On that note. For ONLY the pure fact they publicly told everyone that they were going to hold off and do the trade on Sunday so it would take effect Tuesday I have vetoed the trade."

With this being said the trade was the first trade vetoed in 2 PP seasons which ironically involved current PP Champ JD. The integrity of the league was not compromised and justice was served. Let this be a lesson to PP-keep unofficial trade talks confidential and this could be all avoided.

Shootin the Breeze 10/20

1/2 of team GFY joins us to shoot the breeze as we do best from the Two Roads Podcasting Studio!

https://m.soundcloud.com/kbasta1118/20151020-182415-1a

Co-Commissioners Corner Week 7

 

With Ortiz in the Stone Age lacking internet I (Thomas) will fill in for him this week on the corner.

 

Trade Deadline Reminder – Next Thursday is the deadline, has to be approved by Ortiz at noon or it won’t go through.  I do not have power to approve trades so please contact Ortiz.

 

Island Update – After a trade that I still feel Chuck lost, the chubbies shipped him off the island. Hopefully JD was waiting for him with a floatation device, but I have a feeling that JD would try to drown him just like the Mets did to the Cubs.  It seems as the week goes by, the average weight on the island increases dramatically.   Below are the teams left on the Island going into Week 7.

·        Team DTA

·        The Trojans 

·        Vonteego Cross

·        Mean Machine 

·        2 Cousins 1 Cup

·        Hail Mary to the King

With a lot of important players on bye this week, it will be interesting see who survives.

T

rade Recap – the interesting trade of the week was Mean Machine trading their only competent pass catchers in Gronk and Sanders to Hailmary to the King in a larger deal for Devonta Freeman.  Pat was also able to lock up the Cowboys backfield.  Joe 2 and Timbo now have the best pair of starting running backs along with JD, but the rest of the team is lacking depth. Pat is now poised to make a run since he is already one of the hottest teams in the league right now. 

 

FAAB Recap – It was a boring week for FAAB. The two highest price players scooped were Landry Jones and Stefan Diggs. Jones was grabbed by Eric in an attempt to block Maggs just like he did  to his cousin earlier this season.  Maggs was able to grab a better qb in Mettenberger for free though by waking up at the 5am to ensure he can field a full roster.  Maggs gets an award for his dedication and just being a try hard. Diggs is an interesting player.  I’m surprised that Ortiz, fresh off his loss to the Gingers, didn’t grab Diggs with his love of fast black guys that wear Purple.  Ortiz should finally give up on Charles Johnson since he has been passed on the depth chart. Demayo got a potential stud for a wide receiver 3, if you believe what Diggs’  teammates have said about him this week.

 

Week 6 Recap-

Beatdown of the Week

 

2 Cousins 1 Cup  (202) vs. All Fired Up (115.7)

All Fired up got beat up this week and thrown off the island.  4 players on 2 Cousins team combined to beat All Fired Up’s entire team. It was so bad that Chuck called the matchup halfway through the 3^rd quarter of the 1pmgames.   With two important wrs on bye along with Jameis Winston, All Fired Up was undermanned, but still 115 points is really bad.  Chuck is hoping Mike Evans finds whatever he had last year, because if he doesn’t, his team is in trouble.  

 

The Rookie (159.1) vs Hail Mary to the King (184.2)

The Rookie got 500 yards passing from Rivers, but still failed to win thanks to his running backs continuing to fail him.  If he kept Devonta Freeman, he would have easily won over Pat, but hindsight is 20/20. Christopher needs to regroup and win this week if he wants any chance of avoiding the consolation bracket. Right Now his team might as well be bye week because he is a sure fire victory for most teams in the league. Pat got great production from his running backs along with signs of life from Jimmy Graham (Wow he is alive).  Pat is the second hottest team in the league and looks to win his fourth in a row against the number 1 team in the league, 2 cousins.

 

The Romosexuals (181.2) vs Mean Machine Child Beaters (154.2)

After making a controversial trade that wasn’t processed due to the Thursday night game, Mean Machine continue to fall despite having one of the best running backs in Chris Ivory and getting solid qb play.  Andrew Luck was resurrected on Sunday getting a solid 31 points along with Calvin Johnson having a great game.  If Matthew Stafford continues to chuck it deep, Calvin will be back to be a high end WR very quickly. Mean Machine going forward is questionable at best and the author thinks that they will lose again this week, falling to 3-4.  They were number 1 in the power rankings a few weeks ago, now they aren’t even top 5. While they are falling, JD is on the rise. 

 

UPSET OF THE WEEK

Ginger Snaps (160.9) vs Vonteego Cross (125.2)

After destroying the Gingers all week, Ortiz failed to show up and fell to 2-4. The only people that showed were Kaep and Gary Barnidge while the gingers had exceptional qb play along with great production from their waiver wire wide outs.  Ortiz owes the Gingers an apology if he watched any of last Thursday’s game because Cooks  is garbage while Frank Gore will be productive the rest of the season.  Ortiz is 2-4, no shock from a guy that doesn’t watch sports.  Julio Jones can be had because Ortiz realizes his team is trash and he is on his way to the murphy bowl unless he shakes things up.

 

The Trojans (235.8) vs Team DTA (152.4)

Maggs had fantastic play across the board, especially from his qbs.  Martavis Bryant made quite the season debut, and I heard one person compare him to Josh Gordon.  His combination of size, speed, and love of drugs makes him a great comparison.  Maggs has rb question marks going forward, but he will be a solid team that is destined for the playoffs. Team DTA just ran into a buzz saw and nothing could be done.  A consistent scoring team with depth throughout the lineup will make them a favorite for the playoffs.

 

Matchup of the Week

The Monstars (155.8) vs Team GFY (135.9)

The Monstars had quite possibly the upset of the week any other week, thanks to Michael Vick being well Michael Vick and continuing to ruin Antonio Brown. The biggest play in this games was the touchdown with 30 seconds to go in the game of Cam Newton to Greg Olsen.  The play was worth at least 15 points by itself and sealed the win for Eric’s beloved Panthers.  Antonio Brown needs to rebound quickly if Team GFY wants to be a high seed come playoff time.  Both of the these teams are in a large pack of mediocre teams right now.

 

Week 6 pick results:

Wins: 2 Losses 4

Season Long: 18-12

 

Week 7 Picks (by Ortiz):

Vonteego Cross over The Rookie

2 Cousins 1 Cup over Hailmary to the King

Mean Machine over All Fired Up

The Romosexuals over Team DTA

Team GFY over The Gingersnaps

The Trojans over the Monstars

 

Final Note: I know this wasn’t as funny as Ortiz’s usually is, which makes sense because he is funnier than me, but I do want to note that it took me a while to do this. I appreciate Ortiz doing this every week for the league.  Good Luck in week 7

 

Bottom 4 Spotlight-The Rookie

Written by Thomas Davis

This is the first of a 4 part series looking at the bottom 4 teams performance so far and what the author thinks they should do as we approach the deadline next week.Trade deadline preview - What should The Rookie do?

We all know that Christopher has not had the best season.  He started out with the pick he still regrets of Brees over Brady that has completely changed the season for him.  It has continued with horrible start/sit decisions that he has made, leaving the most meat on the bone, including one week where he had 4 players get 0 points and another player get 1 point.  In addition to this, it appears he got raped in the ass by Pat (sorry Ortiz, you aren’t the only one), when he made the Freeman for Lacy trade. He traded his best keepers away a few weeks ago in Freeman and Ingram (2 players that combined for 56.2 points last week, 49.3 points more than his starting running backs) in what appears to be a combination of a believed sell high move along with an attempt to win now.  Should Christopher continue along this path or reverse course and start building for next year?  

He should try and win now because looking over his roster, he has several players that are performing very well including Rivers and Allen. He also has some underperforming studs including Lacy and Thomas that can turn around and deliver first or second round value.  He should make a trade for depth at either wide receiver or running back. Some potential options are a Chiefs running back in a trade with Maggs so one team can lock up the Chiefs pathetic backfield or maybe moving one of his qbs to Chuck for a running back and quarter back. The final option is continuing to invest in studs that value might be depressed like he did with Lacy, such as Dez Bryant, who might come back and be a top 3 wide receiver. 

Christopher needs starting caliber players in his lineup immediately but can make a move up the standings quickly since he is only 2 games back from the final playoff spot and has a chance to beat Ortiz’s team this week. He does have a hard schedule though after Ortiz so he needs to win this week, if he hopes to make a run.  

 

8/17 BDBN Shootin' The Breeze Podcast

SHOOTIN' THE BREEZE PODCAST 10/17

Commissioner’s Corner Week 5

Welcome back to the Commissioner’s Corner. On this week’sepisode, we will be recapping week 5’s shenanigans and giving out the Week 6 predictions.

Island Update

Week 5 Update!

The Machete resurfaced back to the island when he ran out of fish to swallow. He proceeded to stalk The Romosexuals and finally he caught his pray. Rumor has it; the Machete ate The Romosexuals raw and has replaced The Romosexuals on the island. 

Onofrio stole my steam with the National Inquirer cover, and I cannot think of anything funnier to say. Team GFY continue their streak of bad luck and get booted off the island. 

Free Agent Auction Recap:

Two teams made is rain FAAB cash this week. Mean Machine went bankrupt while wasting all their remaining FAAB cash on EJ Manuel, who turned out to still be the backup. Tough break for the Mean Machine.  The Rookie went nuts to solve his RB2 debacle. This nigga dropped $61 on a guy who may not get the bulk of the carries and who has done nothing in his NFL career so far. I hope The Rookie has something up his sleeve with this move for his sake.

Trade Recap:

Team DTA minus the ghost have been saying it for weeks that Cassel would take over the job. Hats off to ya on this call. Hopefully you get JD’s cheap ass to pay up any bet he made with you on this situation. You pushed hard for gold for 3 weeks, and once it was announced that Cassel had the job, you settled for bronze. I am sure Crabtree will be okay, but this one was a head scratcher considering your previous asking price. 

I will not go into detail about the other trade, but I will leave you with 3 facts. 

1. It was a horrible deal.

2. Murphy is a joke.

3. Ginger is gay.

Week 5 Recap:

All Fired Up (168.1) vs The Romosexuals (153)

Tantrums were thrown, and tears were shed (literally). Poor managing lost this one for The Romosexuals. I cannot fathom a world where someone would start Ryan Mallet over Superstar Matt Hasslebeck. The Romosexuals need to go on a soul searching mission after this loss. All Fired Up keeps living by the motto, “Offense sells tickets, and defense wins games”.

The Monstars (135.3) vs Vonteego Cross (160.1)

Peyton Manning continues to disappoint for the Monstars, and could not help capitalize on a Monstar performance by Blake Bortles. The Monstars tried banking on the Giants D, but Kaepernick reminded them why Ron Jaworski said that he could be the “Greatest Quarterback of All Time”. 

Team GFY (134.7) vs Team DTA (159.8)

Team GFY cannot get out of their own way this season. There is nothing they can do until they get healthy. Team DTA hopped on Eli’s back and never looked back. Also, a note to both of you, stop streaming defenses and find a good one.

Ortiz’s Fleshlight (121.5) vs One Boob Circus Freak (148.5)

The Rookie wrote a check his team couldn’t cash. After all the shit talking he did, he lost, and never had a chance. Who the fuck is Mumphrey? And why would you start him over Andre Johnson? One Boob Circus Freak looks legit this season and continues to go unnoticed as a top team in this league.

Beat Down of the Week

Hail Mary To The King (188.5) vs The Gingersnaps (100.7)

Rick had player score half of The Gingersnaps points, and that player was on his bench. The Gingersnaps start their Beat Down of the Week streak and I don’t see it stopping any time soon.

Matchup of the Week

Mean Machine Child Beaters (151.9) vs The Trojans (167.9)

Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Gates, G to the ATES. Yeah, this match was really tight until this guy came back and went nuts. The duel tight end play may have cost Mean Machine in this matchup, but they should bounce back next week.

Week 5 Pick Results!

Wins: 5 Losses: 1

Season Long: 16-8

Week 6 Picks!

Vonteego Cross over The Gingersnaps

One Boob Circus Freak over All Fired Up

Ortiz’s Fleshlight over Hail Mary To The King

Mean Machine Child Beaters over The Romosexuals

Team GFY over The Monstars

The Trojans over Team DTA

National Enquirer October 2015 Edition

Before team GFY got the big boot off the island in week 5 of PP- they decided to tie the knot before setting out for a long getaway at sea! See the exclusive photos ONLY on PussyPalaceFF.com!

Moments after taking their vows on the ISLAND!

Off to sea for team GFY! With all that chub they shouldn't go hungry anytime soon!