Mock Draft Monday: 2 Round Mock

By: Joe DeMayo and Thomas Davis

1. Gambs/Sarno QB – Aaron Rodgers- despite losing Jordy Nelson, the Packers still have very capable weapons including Randall Cobb and DavanteAdams.  Richard Rodgers will be an important red zone threat and Eddie Lacy looks to build off last season’s 42 catch season. With Brady still suspended and Manning coming off another injury, Rodgers is the best quarterback on the board.  

 

2. Onofrio – RB Adrian Peterson – Antonio Brown merited much consideration at this spot. After the acquisition of Mike Evans and the fact he does not have a 2nd round pick for keeping Russell Wilson, I think he will address his RB1 spot. He likely would get a WR2 he likes more in the 3rd than a RB1 he likes there.

 

3. Pat- WR Antonio Brown - Pat is always a wildcard.  He falls in loves with a player and takes that player no matter the value. With that in mind, I am still going with the top wide receiver on the board, whichaveraged 2.3 points per game more than any other wide receiver and had at least 11 points in every game last year. The other player considered was Rob Gronkowski. 

 

4. Ginger/Murphy – WR Dez Bryant – Considered loading the Gingers up at RB with Eddie Lacy or Jamaal Charles to go with Jeremy Hill. After consideration, thought they should go with one of the most consistent WR in football in a high octane offense in Dez Bryant. Dez has had no less than 12 TD’s, or 1,233 yards or 88 catches since 2011. If it’s not going to be Brown, I think Dez has the best shot to be the WR #1

 

5. Ortiz – WR Julio Jones - Despite what Ortiz claims, I do not believe for a minute he is going to go qb/qb.  Also, the players he claims he is drafting are very unsexy which would mean that Ortiz actually died and his far chubbier twin brother has replaced him.  With all this in mind, I am going to take Julio Jones for Ortiz.  He is a sexy, high upside player and gives him a number 1 wide receiver that he needs.  I considered running back, but chose to go with the 100 catch player from Atlanta. 

 

6. Ortiz (via Kev/DJ) – RB Jamaal Charles – Considered Eddie Lacy. Ortiz puts up a front that he is going to take Peyton Manning and/or Drew Brees. We know, however, that they have the wrong skin color to be an Ortiz QB. Ortiz does not pick again until the 4th so he will take a RB now and then come round 4 he’ll probably go and select auuggghhh Colin

 

7. Joe 2/Timbo (via JD) – TE Rob Gronkowski – By far the best player at his position, Rob Gronkowski is the pick because of his touchdowns. The last time Gronkhad a healthy offseason, he had 90 catches, 1329 total yards and 18 tds (1 rushing).  That’s good enough to be a top 10 non qb (6th last year). With the 13th pick and 3 3rd round selections, Joe 2 will have the opportunity to build a deep roster of RBs and WRs in the next few rounds.  Eddie Lacy was also considered with this pick as was Beckham and Thomas.  

 

8. Affinito – RB Eddie Lacy – Well the rookie has no keepers. Traded for none. Has nothing to go off except his hopes and dreams. He should not be taking any insane risks here in round 1 … Lacy it is!

 

9. Maggs- WR - Demaryius Thomas - Most consistent WR in the league the last three years, even more then Antonio Brown.  He is great value and might be the safest of the top 5 WR’s since he is Manning proof.   The other position considered was QB since the top 4 rbs and Gronk are off the board. Beckham was considered as well.

 

10. Eric – QB Peyton Manning – I know everyone thinks Eric is a Panther fan so you can sign up Cam Newton on his roster. I say he takes a much safer bet for his first pick with no keepers to use as backup and takes probably the top eligible to be drafted QB 

 

11. Pat-WR Odell Beckham Jr. – Pat is turning into Ortiz more and more every day.  First it was the injuries like Ortiz, and now it’s him going after the “sexy” guy.  He prays Gronk falls here, but I do not think he does.  Pat is a wild card though and can easily take MarshawnLynch or Calvin Johnson.  

 

12. Joe – QB Andrew Luck – The only first round keeper, JD struck quickly on lottery to secure the player he wanted.  He now has the top qb and a solid rb tandem to build his team around. Andrew Luck at 12 is a steal, since he would have been a top 2 pick in this draft if he was available. 

 

13. Joe 2/Timbo – RB Marshawn Lynch – They went from two great keepers in Luck and Mike Evans to no keepers and a bunch of picks. They get a high impact player at a scarce position at #7 in Gronk. Now they do not pick for some time, and I do not think they pass up the value that Lynch provides at this spot

 

14. Thomas/Fabish – QB Drew Brees – With two legit RB’s in CJ Anderson and Lamar Miller, decided it would come down to QB or WR. Almost went with a WR like AJ Green, but I think they will wait until later on in the 2nd to obtain their WR... Brees falling here is good value.

 

15. Eric-WR Calvin Johnson- Starting with a qb, Eric comes back with a potentially elite WR.  AJ Green, Matt Forte, and Demarco Murray were considered, but the upside of Calvin Johnson was too much to bypass. Eric starts his draft with two top 5 picks from last year’s draft. 

 

16. Maggs – RB Matt Forte – Maggs kept TY Hilton and John Brown, and then solidified his WR corps with Demaryius Thomas in R1. Now it’s time for him to address his RB position. Matt Forte is the best player on the board, who provides great PPR value in this spot

 

17. Christopher-QB Tom Brady – Brady’s suspension will be ruled upon by the time of the draft, and it might have even been decided by the time you read this. Christopher picked with his brain in the first round and now he picks with his heart in the second. 

 

 

18. Joe – WR AJ Green – with a top qb and a solid RB duo, DeMayo grabs a top WR that was a first round pick last year. I think he will be extremely excited to see him fall this far.  Green has had 1000 yards every season of his career and averaged 98 catches and 11 tds in the two seasons he has played all 16 games.  The other player considered here was Randall Cobb

 

19. Kev/DJ – WR Randall Cobb – Team DTA member Kev finally gets a member of his beloved Green Bay Packers. Cobb’s shoulder appears to be OK and he should be a solid WR1 that DTA needs to start off their squad considering they start with Eli and that turd Larry Donnell 

 

20. Kev/DJ – RB – Demarco Murray - Probably the best rb on the board, team DTA gets a low end RB 1 to pair with Randall Cobb to form a solid foundation.  Another WR is a possibility but the RB board is getting thin.  Also, a qb is not out of the question even though Kevin believes in Eli

 

21. Ginger/Murphy – QB Matt Ryan – The gingersnaps have a well-balanced start with Teddy Bridgewater, Jeremy Hill and Dez Bryant. Matt Ryan makes it to the end of the 2nd round in this scenario, and I think the gingers will want to lock up their QB duo of Ryan and Bridgewater

 

22. Thomas/Fabish – WR Alshon Jeffery – Thomas and Fabish have their QB and 2 RB’s. Now is the time for a WR1. At their first pick they could’ve taken Calvin or AJ Green, but instead they went with the #3 QB available to be drafted and still ends up with a real high end WR in Jeffery who should be a target machine this year in Chicago

 

23. Onofrio – QB Russell Wilson – Great safe keeper.  He would have been a low end first round pick if he was draftable.  Chuck has a great start to his roster with Wilson, Peterson, Kelce, and Evans. 

 

24. .Gambs/Sarno – WR Brandin Cooks – With the loss of Kelvin Benjami, team Go Fuck Yourself needs a standout WR. The team already has the best qbsituation in the league and now it is time to build the rest of a roster that will be competitive as always.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While Ortiz is being raped by Pirates...(TSA)

By Thomas Davis 

Chuck has been sitting at work, masterminding a clever plan to sneak his way into the playoffs. The plan began last Thursday when Chuck exploited Pat’s desire to move up into the early part of the 3rd round and got him to give up about 5 rounds of value in order to do so. Pat agreed to trade the sluttiest pick in the draft (3.11) and his 4th for Chuck’s early 3rd and a 10th round pick that Pat will probably cut week 2, only to grab the player again via trade in week 6. This gave Chuck the ammunition he needed to execute a mid-week heist that Danny Ocean would be proud of.

​Having a conditional trade with team DTA in place, that would allow Chuck to get back a third round pick that he would trade to Joe 2 and Timbo, he went to work on getting Mike Evans.  Being patient and waiting out several other teams, Chuck was able to make a deal and give Joe 2 and Timbo the 3rd round pick they desired as part of a larger deal.  Not only was Chuck able to acquire a high end number 2 WR, he acquired a great keeper asset going forward.  Joe 2 and Timbo now dominate the back half of the 3rd round with 3 picks.   It allows them to be more flexible with their roster and even make additional trades with 5 picks in the first 3 rounds.  They will be an interesting team to watch within the next week.  I do not think they are done with movement as they attempt to acquire as many high end assets as possible and build a roster they hope will get them back in the Pussy Palace Championship game. 

​Wanting to recoup a 3rd round pick that he just lost in the Evans trade, Chuck went back to Team DTA, He executed a similar trade that Pat made 6 days previously, but unlike Pat, he wasn’t sodomized without lube like Ortiz was by TSA.  Instead of giving up a 3 and 4, Chuck gave up a 4 and 6, saving 3 total rounds of value over what Pat spent.  Chuck made all of these moves while moving only one odd round pick which is important to him since they are at the top of the round.  Below I have combined all three trades to show that by being active, Chuck was able to acquire great assets while not losing the balance he desires by picking in every round.  

 

 

 

 

P.S Chuck will be making a bar run for us after his first pick since he doesn’t draft again for 26 picks.  

#ESPNBDBN Shootin' The Breeze Podcast Episode 3. ft. PP Champion JD

Check out the latest BDBN blunder as we shot the breeze with current reigning defending PP Champion - Dick Sucking Jay Dee!  Click below to hear what he had to say in this special edition podcast!

#ESPNBDBN Shootin' the Breeze w/ JD -Episode 3

Throwback Thursday 14' Draft Grades

Talk about a blast from the past! Here are some of the commish's thoughts for each team following the draft last season. 

2014 Pussy Palace Draft Grades

By: Mike Ortiz  (Commissioner) 

 

Hey guys, this year I want to have a more interactive message board to keep the league fresh and fun.  I am going to start with doing draft grades from my opinion.

 

Romosexuals (Joe DeMayo):

 

Quarterbacks: Demayo had first overall pick and could not fuck it up by going with one of the elite 3 QBs in the league with Drew Brees and then followed that up with a high risk high reward RG3.  RG3 is a contender for fantasy comeback player of the year after having a breakout superstar rookie season and then having a dismal low-end QB 2 sophomore season.  With bye weeks 6 and 10, Johnny Football can be seen as a reach (real life back up QB in round 7) and can be seen an interesting play as he may not have the job by week 6.  Purely a keeper and man crush selection.

 

Grade B+

 

Running Backs: Not one to ever focus on the running back position, this year he proved to stay consistent to his draft strategy.  Completely unsexy Alfred Morris, who has 20 career receptions in a PPR league, is his RB1 and unproven may not have the starting job or goal line carries Bishop Sankey as his RB2 are definitely in the lower tier of RB tandems in the league.  When it came to backing up his RBS, he at least found some guys with high upside in Hyde and Miller, but Stewart should have stayed undrafted.

 

Grade C-

 

WR/TE: Though I have a man crush on Alshon Jeffery, I have doubts that his skills can overcome the bromance of Cutler and Marshall.  Jackson I love and Colston I have always hated.  Saints receivers either put up 40 or 5 and are insanely inconsistent.  As for depth Matthews looks like a future stud in a high-octane offense and we will see if Boykin can build from his late year success.  Gronkowski was a great pick that seemed to be one of those picks where everyone wanted to stand up and say fuck you to our former commissioner.

 

Grade B+

 

Outlook: Rock solid QBs balanced out with shaky RBs to go with one out of the 2 elite tight ends in the game and solid WRs.  Demayo looks to have an average year and to SNNNNNNEEEEEEEAAAAAAKKKKK in to the playoffs with a 7-6 record.

 

Best Pick: Carlos Hyde (13^th)

Worst Pick: Johnny Manziel (7^th)

 

 

All Fired Up (Mike Onofrio):

Quarterbacks: Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady are 2 of the top guys in the game.  Not much you can say about these that we don’t already know.  Only bad thing I can say about this teams Quarterbacks is “Where the QB3?”.  Onofrio swung and missed with Schuab and now will hope to get lucky and find a 3^rd guy by week 9 or overpay for someones scraps mid season.

 

Grade A

 

Running Backs: Talk about young and sexy running backs, Bernard and Stacy drip with sexy.  Following up the sexiness in the starters, are the floral pattern granny panty wearing back ups who have seen their best fantasy days behind them but still prove to be productive.  And last and definitely least, we have James White (Hometown Pick: 0.0 St% and 2.2% Owned) who in my 5 drafts this year, this was the only time he sniffed a roster.

 

Grade A

 

WR/TE: With Welker out until week 6, the NFL is going to learn the name of Emmanuel Sanders this year in a big way. Keenen Allen will struggle to see the break out success he saw last year with newly garnered attention and no longer catching DBs off guard.  It will be interesting to see how Wayne handles going from being the 1 and only guy for Luck before his injury to having one of the best receiving groups in the league taking away his targets. Sexy sleepers with high upside with Hunter and Lee and Danny “1 hit away from death” Amendola I secretly like his depth.  Fleener is awful and Ebron, as sexy as he is moves into a non friendly tight end situation.

 

Grade B

 

Outlook: This is easily the best team Onofrio has ever drafted, but lets emphasize the Onofrio.  He is known for his hasty dumb trades and then trying to rip off the weak.  If he can tone down the trading this year and stick with the drafted team, I like his chances of making the playoffs with an 8-5 record. 

 

Best Pick: Justin Hunter (10th)

 

Worst Pick: Tom Brady (2^nd)

 

 

Team DTA (Kevin Basta & DJ Larkin)

 

 

Quarterbacks: Peyton finished #1 last year by roughly 100 points so he is an obvious stud.  If Romo stays healthy he can return to fantasy greatness in the new pass happy offense.  I hate Eli, but I cannot argue his value as a QB 3.

 

 

Grade A+

 

Running Backs: EEEEWWWWW I loathe Fred Jackson.  He cannot continue to tell Father Time to go fuck himself.  Montee Ball is a nice lottery ticket that can pay huge dividends with Peyton Manning’s effect on his starting RBs fantasy value.  I loved the Ray Rice pick so now Fred Jackson only has 2 weeks to suck in your starting lineup.  Not a fan of your back up in DeAngelo Williams but at least youre one of the few teams in the league who can say they have 4 starting RBs.

 

Grade B

 

WR/TE:  Pierre Garcon is your only WR that doesn’t make me want to throw up.  Decker owes Manning 90% of his contract and Andre Johnson is better off with me as his QB in Houston.  Dwayne Bowe is a deep threat who’s QB doesn’t throw further than 5 yards (really deep huh?), and Miles Austin may start the season as the #1 WR in Cleveland but he will be lucky if his hamstrings allows him to play more than 4 games. EW EW EW

 

Grade EW

 

Outlook: Suspect owners with a suspect roster.  I am sure Peyton will carry them to 2 wins when they face a team in bye week hell.  We are looking at a 3-10 team competing for what Kevin wanted so desperately, The Murphy Award.

 

Best Pick: Montee Ball (3rd)

 

Worst Pick: Many to choose from but Tony Romo (2^nd)

 

 

ILoveBoys6969 (Anthony Fabish)

 

Quarterbacks: I loved the Stafford at 4 pick even though it shocked the draft room.  Even though Andy Dalton is a ginger, he puts up fantasy points at a boom or bust level.  Sexy Derek Carr as QB3, I like it.

 

Grade B

 

Running Backs: Sneaky good PPR dependent RBs in heavily crowded backfields.  Zero depth as Ridley cannot hold onto the ball and Greene only has value in the red zone vulturing TDs.

 

Grade C

 

WR/TE: Jordy Nelson was a nice pick but why the fuck did you trade up for Victor Cruz?  That really grinded my gears.  Hopkins is sexy and so is T Willy.  Hawkins, Hartline, and Streater are eh.  Jordan Cameron should have a rock solid year.

 

Grade C+

 

Outlook: I see no upside with this team.  It is what it is.  Fabish meet Kevin and DJ, as you two will be playing for the Murphy Award this year.  3-10 will not get you too far.

 

Best Pick: DeAndre Hopkins (10^th)

 

Worst Pick: Victore Cruz (3^rd)

 

 

Vonteego Cross (Michael Ortiz)

 

Quarterbacks: Same guys as last year and I couldn’t be any happier.  I would have taken them in the first and second round again but this year my stupid preseason trades worked out in my favor.  High upside Blake Bortles as my QB3 will pay off nicely if he can win the job by week 10.

 

Grade B+

 

Running Backs: Andre Ellington is a potential keeper selection that could pay nice dividends this year.  I believe Bell>Bush and I think Detroit agrees with me.  Sproles has always been a PPR monster and I am excited to see what Chip Kelly has in store for him.  No Shoes Moreno looked great in the 1 game I saw him in the preseason and I owed him a debt of gratitude for carrying me to the second best record in the league last year.

 

Grade B+

 

WR/TE: My 3 4^th rounders I went Sexy WR, Risky WR, Safe WR.  I love the cut of Patterson’s Jib.  I am a Florida Gator homer hoping to get a full season out of the electrifying Percy Harvin.  Last year Roddy White was considered an elite receiver but had a rough injury plagued year.  Now that he is healthy and Julio Jones is back, Matt Ryan will continue his bromance with Roddy.  Kendall Wright and Maclin are the best back up receivers in the league and oh have you met my 9^th round pick next year? Mr. Josh Gordon.  Jordan Reed when healthy looked great last year and if Cincinnati can start watching football and realize that Gresham is only hurting Eiferts development.

 

Grade A-

 

Outlook: Founder, commissioner, and perennial powerhouse Vonteego Cross looks to build on his Pussy Palace legacy with a 10-3 playoff birth.

 

Best Pick: Andre Ellington (5^th)

 

Worst Pick: Josh Gordon (10^th)

 

 

It’s Always Runny In Philadelphia (Ryan Reed)

 

Quarterbacks: Roethlisberger is a rock solid start, but then it goes down hill from there.  It is feasible that McCown and Fitzpatrick might be wearing headsets by week 6.  Was McCown a product of Trestman’s system? He has shown nothing to be desired in the preseason while Glennon lit it up.  Houston didn’t trade for Mallet to back up the journeyman Fitzpatrick.  With LB at the draft I would have expected you to have 7 more QBs to take a shot at starting for you.

 

Grade D

 

Running Backs: You snagged the consensus number 1 fantasy back with another pro bowler in Lynch.  Even though Lynch loses value in PPR leagues, he’s a stud RB 2.  Tate finally get his chance and can pay huge dividends now that he is the guy.  Ryan Mathews will have to fight off our UCONN native who broke out late last year with the colts.  I love the starters but the depth is risky.

 

Grade A

 

WR/TE: Antonio Brown was the 3^rd best WR at the end of last year, but still watched 9 other WRs get selected in front of him this year.  Brown was a great pick and I loved it.  Desean Jackson could be a nice pick this year as well, however after that its all EW EW EW.  Wallace got paid and forgot how to play WR. Lets see how James Jones does going from Aaron Rodgers to Derek Carr.  Boldin and Washington just suck.  I love the Kyle “The Reindeer” pick.  Lets see if Norv Turner has some of that tight end fairy dust laying around for the young steed.

 

Grade C- 

 

Outlook: Lets hope that your RBs carry your team on their back and you can pull off a move to find a reliable QB2.  I think you will be competitive but as a bubble team stuck on the outside looking in at 5-8.

 

Best Pick: Antonio Brown (3^rd)

 

Worst Pick: Josh McCown (5^th)

 

 

 

The Trojans (Michael Magliochetti)

 

Quarterbacks: Cutler could be a top 5 QB in the league if he stays healthy in Trestman’s offense this year.  He has arguably the best WR tandem in the league with a top 5 RB.  Flacco is so unsexy that it hurts, but he is good for 8-13 points a week and staying healthy.  Now this seems to be a running problem in this league, where is the QB 3?

 

Grade B-

 

Running Backs: I wont spend much time here.  Before the season you could have made the argument that Peterson and Charles should have been the number 1 overall picks in normal leagues.  I don’t understand the man crush of Andre Williams but he sounds like he has the confidence in him that I had when I told everyone that Arian Foster would win me the league (he did).  McFadden was a low cost high reward pick, and Anderson and Davis are ACLs away from being top 10 RBs in the league.

 

Grade A+

 

WR/TE: This is a solid bunch of guys.  With Welker out until week 6, I feel there is still enough depth to stay above average.  Larry Fitz had a down year last year yet still finished as a mid level WR2.  I love the talent of Hilton, but I am not sure how the targets will be distributed in a run heavy offense.  Steve Smith is un sexy and old while Markus Wheaton and Sammy Watkins aresuper sexy and should find his way into this teams starting lineup before the season ends.  Vernon Davis is a physical specimen that is always rock solid.

 

Grade B

 

Outlook: These Trojans have championship experience being lead by one of the original members of Pussy Palace.  I like the team to cruise to an 8-5 record and slot right into the playoffs.

 

Best Pick: Markus Wheaton (12^th)

 

Worst Pick: Joe Flacco (6^th)

 

 

Hailmary To The King (Patrick Dacosta)

 

Quarterbacks: I understand Pat is under the assumption that somehow this is not a QB league, but this year he took it to new level.  In 3 years, Jake Locker has only played 23 games (that’s roughly 7 games per year for those who cannot do math cough onofrio cough cough).  I am probably Locker’s biggest fan but even I think having him as your QB1 is ludacris.  Manuel wasn’t a good fantasy QB last year and he looks even worse this preseason.  The Bills should have taken Nassib last year and you should have picked anyone else.  Interesting that your QB 3 was used as a handcuff to make up for the lack of talent that is Manuel.  I have always loved Orton since the beginning of Pussy Palace days and you will be lucky if he takes the job from Manuel.

 

Grade EW

 

Running Backs: Now here is where he made up for his QBs.  Lacy was a steal in the second round and could easily finish a top 3 RB with Rodgers back at the helm.  The question with Murray was never talent, but his health.  He has been an injury plagued star since his days in Oklahoma.  With the new offense in Dallas, Murray could be a PPR superstar if he stays healthy.  One day Spiller might take the starting job from grandfather Jackson, but until Jackson is gone Spiller will never reach his fantasy potential.  West won’t have any value until Ben Tate eventually gets hurt.

 

Grade A

 

WR/TE:  Brandon Marshall and Jimmy Graham are bonafide superstars.  Everyone else on the roster Pat went fishing for.  With little to no mid round picks, this teams draft looked like an hourglass.  Very top heavy and a lot of late picks where they are going to have to hit on a couple of sleepers in order to having a chance at repeating.  Latimer and Evans will have to break the rookie wall while Seashell Shirts has to deal with Chad Henne for now.  Will the rams learn how to use Tavon Austin this year?

 

Grade B+ 

 

Outlook: The defending champ took an unorthodox approach this year to the draft with all of his preseason trades.  With a very top heavy team that is relying on sleepers to fill out the roster, this team is an injury away from not making the playoffs.  In a vacuum, assuming nothing but health for the team, I see a 7-6 SSSSNNNNNEEEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKING into the playoffs as the 8 seed.

 

Best Pick: Mike Evans (9^th)

 

Worst Pick: CJ Spiller (7^th)

 

 

Team Go Fuck Yourself (Stephen Gambardella)

 

Quarterbacks: Rivers showed a resurgence last year finishing in the top 5 Qbs at the end of the year.  I really like Tannehill this year as a high end QB 2 and is poised for a break out year.  Now this is where he go sneaky.  He snagged not only a starting QB as a QB 3 in Shaun Hill and a QB 4 in Ryan Mallet.  I am sure Steves phone will be ringing off the hook come #TradeTalkTuesday with teams looking for a QB.

 

Grade A-

 

Running Backs: This year it felt like Arian Foster had cooties or something.  No one wanted to touch this perennial RB 1 and allowed this team to steal him in the 3^rd round.  Regardless of what Maggs thinks, Rashad Jennings is the guy in NY and he actually looks good.  MJD was a nice pick now that he is finally happy and out of Jacksonville away from those Duval douchebags.  Freeman and Mason are injuries away from being relevant, but are worth the stash.

 

Grade B+

 

WR/TE: Dez and Julio are super sexy studs who are no question top 10 guys.  Torrey smith looks to build on his solid play now that there are other weapons around him in that offense.  I love the Kelvin Benjamin pick even though he only picked him in spite of my man crush (his words, not mine).  Williams was taken late and can prove to have some value.  Gates as his only tight end is gonna hurt.  Gates isn’t even the best tight end on his team anymore.

 

Grade A

 

Outlook: Even though I hate Steve as much as I hate Fred Jackson, I love his team.  It is well balanced and loaded with trade bait.  Barring injuries this team should go 9-4 and hold a top seed in the playoffs.

 

Best Pick: MJD (9^th)

 

Worst Pick: Antonio Gates (12^th)

 

 

My Girl Gives Good Woodhead (Thomas Davis)

 

Quarterbacks: Matt Ryan had a good year last year with no receivers and now he has his 2 super stars back.  Russell Wilson is super efficient and may never win you a week, he won’t lose you the week either.  Carson Palmer should be starting on one of the retards teams who have shit QBs.  Chad Henne was a waste of a pick and will not have the job long.

 

Grade A

 

Running Backs: Gearhart has never been a premier back in the NFL and moves to a shitty team with a shitty fan club.  He is unproven but an interesting pick.  Danny Woodhead was a PPR stud last year, but the question is how will Donald Brown figure into that backfield?  Pierce should hold value for 2 weeks and then move back to a hand cuff when Mike Tyson .. I mean Ray Rice gets off his suspension.  I hate the Saints backfield, but Ingram looked great late in the year last year and looks like he has come into his own. 

 

Grade C+

 

WR/TE: A man amongst men, Calvin Johnson is the best receiver some of have ever and will ever see in our life times.  Crabtree is the only guy in San Fran that can catch Kaepernicks 100 MPH bullets which will hand him a plethora of targets.  Michael Floyd is young and sexy.  Reuben Randle finally gets his chance with Nicks gone.  It was only a few years ago that Britt Kenny was one of the NFLs most talented receivers, will a change in scenery and reuniting with his old cold bring him back to relevancy?

 

Grade A

 

Outlook: The man has trade bait and talent.  If his RB situation pans out he could be dangerous this year.  I like the cut of his jib and see him as an 8-5 playoff team.

 

Best Pick: Michael Crabtree (5^th)

 

Worst Pick: Carson Palmer (8^th)

 

 

Keepin It Heel (Josh Davis & Joe Zimabardi)

 

Quarterbacks: Alex Smith is a solid QB 2 but Geno Smith should be a QB 3.  Neither of them will ever win you a week.  I like what you did by handcuffing the Minnesota QB situation to ensure a QB 3, but youre going to have to make a decision on who to let go sooner rather than later because roster spots could prove valuable one the season starts.

 

Grade EW

 

Running Backs: Matt Forte is great and is a top 5 guy.  Reggie Bush doesn’t seem to be the popular vote when the new management took over.  Trent is in his make or break season this year and im leaning towards make.  With all these comparisons of Luck to Peyton, the future only looks brighter for the young RB.  It’ll be interesting to see McClusters role in the titans offense this year.  Jeremy Hill has been a sexy name and is compared to a much more talented BGE from last year who was still serviceable because of red zone carries.

 

Grade B+

 

WR/TE: I know this won’t be popular with Team Go Fuck Yourself, but I have to say that this is the best WR core in the league.  These 3 starters could all easily hit triple digit receptions and 1000 yards.  Cooks looked great in preseason, but we do not know how he will be used yet while surrounded by veteran receivers with only so many targets.  Stills is just a roster filler.

 

Grade A+

 

Outlook: Quarterbacks make me sick, but this heel tag team made up for it with its skill players.  I like this team at an 8-5 playoff team.

 

Best Pick: Brandin Cooks (8^th)

 

Worst Pick: Reggie Bush (4^th)

 

 

 

Team A (Joe 2 and Tim DeAntonio)

 

Quarterbacks: Andrew Luck and Nick Foles could be one of the best QB combos in our league. Luck added weapons and Foles had his first preseason as the starter.  The QB3 is risky, with 2 late bye weeks, Hoyer will have to scrap and fight to hold off the Johnny Football chants in Cleveland to keep his job that long.

 

Grade A

 

Running Backs: Bells work load is in question with the acquisition of Blount.  I see Bell hitting the Trent Richardson like sophomore slump.  Doug Martin went in the top 3 of most drafts last year, but for some reason we let Joe 2 weasel his way into snagging him in the 3^rd.  Steven Jackson looked very good in the last 4 games of the year when he came back healthy.  Health is the question with Jackson.  Ivory is eh.

 

Grade B

 

WR/TE: Green is a superstar.  Riley Cooper doesn’t like black people.  Good thing Nick Foles is white, which could be the reason why Cooper won a lot of people fantasy leagues last year when Foles took over.  There has never been a fantasy relevant WR2 come out of Detroit.  I love Tate’s talent, but Stafford will continue living by the “When in doubt, throw it near Calvin”.  Nicks is interesting as long as his ankle holds up.  Bennett is only good if this was fantasy WWE and body slams were a category. 

 

Grade B+

 

Outlook: Joe 2 always figures something out and somehow strikes gold.  If history holds true, we will look back at this grade and laugh at it because somehow because Joe 2 picked  Bennett, he ended up the number 1 tight end.  He is crafty and always underestimated but this team should have a nice 8-5 year and make a splash in the playoffs.

 

Best Pick: Doug Martin (3^rd)

 

Worst Pick: Seattle Defense (6^th)