Ladies,
Good Morning,
This is mostly dedicated to one little person(pun intended) not only because of his height, but because he also has a small penis. This kid Onofrio wins one tainted championship and thinks he is gods gift to not only PP Fantasy but to the entire fantasy world. He takes stupid selfies of himself sitting on his bed shirtless with his fake "championship" belt that every 12 year old kid kicks and screams about getting. Yet, that makes sense, because not only does he have the IQ and maturity of a 12 year old he also has the jock size of one as well. Like the old saying is.... " If the shoe fits, wear it."
JD- Lets be honest, you did not just get your nickname for no reason. This guy squeaks his way into the playoffs and practically hits lotto in the playoffs getting every low scoring team. I will give props where props are due though. He won and is the champion until he gets dethroned this year, and that is a #Fact. I can guarantee there will be no more heated rivalry in PP this year than JD and GFY. Until EWWWTIZ opens his mouth and crosses paths with GFY that is.
EWWWWTIZ- which brings me to this guy. I mean lets me honest, who the hell do we have in charge of our league. It's like having a fantasy league ran by Richard Simons! The kid is an eye sore. Hairy as all hell, one boob and can not see colors. I mean how the heck does he even know when to stop at a traffic light? Lezbehonest, the only thing worse than having EWWWTIZ running this league his right hand"jpb" man Thomas.
Thomas- Between the yelling and screaming and spit flying everywhere I don't know whether to run and hide or grab a poncho and sit and enjoy the show. Yet, that isn't the best part, 23 seconds later he will be like a kid in a candy shop. Laughing and giggling and having a grand ol' time. Lets focus on his fantasy ability(or lack there of). This will be my third or fourth( I can not remember) year as a pussy palace member and I have yet to see anything productive come out of this team! This year he brings back an owner who just last season got the boot out of the league!! This team is unbelievable!! Just when you think they can't possibly stoop any lower and do anything more to make this team suck anymore, they go right ahead and suprise everyone!
Joe2/Timbo- I have to give this team a lot of credit. They might have single handedly saved my season last year by drafting DOUG MARTIN over Arian Foster right in front of my pick. Thus, I will stop here and save their lashing for another day.
Maggs- Poor kid, he is just so chubby that I think the fat cells take over his brain mid-draft and he just starts thinking of McGangBangs from McDonalds. He then forgets all about fantasy football and drafts random players. I mean it really can't be that he is just that bad at drafting, can it? The answer: YES!! YES!! YES!!
Ginger/Gingerer- This team last year had one hell of a year. They may have made every correct(lucky) pick there could have been, with the exception of their two QB's who combined could not even carry non the less shine the shoes of the likes of Aaron Rodgers or Peyton Manning( i will not say TB 12). Yet, they came out of the gates firing on all cylinders and made a heck of a run starting the year 10-0 I believe( I could be wrong on that number). Just like every crappy team though, they exited the playoffs just as fast, if not faster, then they entered them. They were bounced out of their first round playoff game without even a blink of an eye. Some call it the PP Choke Job, I call it the, my luck finally ran out and reality final took over. This year Ginger brings in a clone!!! Gingerer, who also was at one point kicked out of the league for the most ridiculous trade that may has ever happened in this leagues short history. He is back this year and from the word going around, on a short leash!!!!
Eric- 1 of 2 rookies joining PP, I don't know him, so give me a week or so after the draft and I will tear him to pcs as well. Rest easy for now young lad!!
Aff- Another new rookie joining PP. I do though know this one. Talk about problems... I mean this kids idol is EWWWTIZ. How much worse can you get than that. He is however taking a plane back to CT from FL for our draft so he is ok by me, for now that is. No on is safe though.
Rick- How many trades is he going to make this year!!! Every year he makes copious(SAT word) amounts of trades, yet nothing comes from it. He is a garbage owner who loves to run his mouth and degrade PP, yet he is too afraid to leave. He rants and raves about how much of a superior league "the jungle" is than PP, yet when it came down to signing on the doted line, he tucked his tail between his legs and ran, just like every other member of that garbage league. I will re-issue the challenge right now... PP vs. The Jungle... the ball is in your court sir.
DTA- AHHHHHH last but not least(well history shows they pretty much are least) I have one question? ARE YOU GUYS OUT OF YOUR DAMN MINDS???!?!!!!??? You had a golden opportunity to take any pick that you wanted with the exception of #1 overall and you went and chose #6, that shouldn't even be a pick that is in anyone's mind, at any point in time. Surprising though? Absolutely not, this team has been in the cellar for the past couple years now, and shows no signs towards that changing anytime soon. Some are basement dwellers and this is 100% the case with this team. Hell, we can't even talk or hear from half of the team owners. I say you either make the playoffs this year or split up, because obviously this combo just is not working. This is a worse scenario then Bill Cosby left alone with a room full of women.
Pre Draft Power Rankings:
1. JD(defending champ only reason)
2. GFY
3. EWWWWWTIZ
4. Joe2/Timbo
5. Maggs
6. Rick
7. Onofrio
8. Aff
9. Thomas/I got kicked out last year and found a way back in
10. Eric(only bc i don't have a history to base this off of)
11. Ginger/Gingerer
Not Work even mentioning: Team DTA
-Team GFY
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