The Davis Index Week 7

By: Thomas Davis

1. For the first this year Center of Attention did not face a team that graded out favorably on The Davis Index.

2. The league was a combined 10-1 against Center of Attention’s opponent bumping the combined winning percentage of the league to a staggering 0.257 for the season.

3. The only team to not beat Team GYM, was Vonteego Cross, who was the low scorer for the second time this year.

4. The Rookie had the lowest score of any team that has won a week in the last 3 years.

5. The matchup had the lowest combined points in the last three years (followed closely by Murphy Bowl 2014, which your author won (or lost depending on how you perceive the award)

6. If Ortiz had started his $29 man Jay Ajayi, he easily would have won.

7. The average point total for the league was up a little bit last week to 142.6 despite having three teams score below 110.

8. For reference the average score in this week last year was 155.9 and the average score for the season was over 154 at this point last season.

9. The Trojans magic number to clinch a playoff spot is 4.  

10. The team with the largest discrepancy in the Davis Index between scoring and their opponents score is Hailmary to the Kings. They have scored above the league average 6 times and only faced 2 opponents who have done the same.

Random stupid facts

1. 3 times in the Super Bowl era have teams played to a 6-6 tie, all three times, the cardinals have played in the game.

2. Jay Ajayi is the 4th running back to rush for 200 yards in back to back games. The other 3 are a legend, a murderer, and a guy who smoked more weed then Cheech and Chong.

3. TY Hilton has three games with over 130 yards receiving. He also has three games with under 50 yards receiving.

4. Leveon Bell has had at least 18.8 points in his four games this season so far, and has yet to score a touchdown this year.

5. Drew Brees average points per game is .1 point less then Russell Wilson and Carson Wentz average points per game combined.

6. Russell Wilson has 87.6 points so far this season.  That is equal to the amount of rushing yards he is on pace for this season.

7. Despite Brock Osweiler making approximately 70 million more than Trevor Semien, he has only outscored him by .7 points this season.

8. Older then dirt, Frank Gore is the number 12 ranked running back in Pussy Palace so far this year

9. Jay Ajayi in two games has outrushed Todd Gurley all season

10. The only running back to not rush for 100 yards against the 49ers this season is….Todd Gurley

11. Mike Evans and Larry Fitzgerald are the only wide receivers in the top 12 to not give their owner a single point fantasy game yet this season.

12. Mike Thomas has a higher ppg then Doug Baldwin, Kelvin Benjamin, Jordy Nelson, or Nuke Hopkins

13. Jack Doyle is the number 4 ranked tight end (REALLY)

14. Stephen Gostkowski is tied for 20th at the kicking position this year.

15. In case you missed it, the top 2 scoring defenses this year are the Eagles and Vikings. In their game on Sunday, they had 5 consecutive possessions end in turnovers.

Rear View Recap

Look Back at the Draft 

By: Kevin Basta

 

In the article I will highlight the outlook of the draft through the first 7 weeks of the PP season. What picks looks great? Which look bad? Let’s take a look.

 

Busts:

 

DTA: Adrian Peterson R1 – 10

No surprise here, this a player that had question marks headed into the season, going down with a major knee injury doesn’t help his cause. His days as a fantasy superstar are over.

 

COA: Dez Bryant R1 - 12

Oh Ginger. You think you would’ve learned your lesson after Dez screwed you last year. Dez dating back to the 2nd half of last year has not proved himself worthy of being placed in the elite WR category.

 

Rookie: Jamaal Charles R2 – 20

Jamaal Charles is finished. Days of being an elite RB are over. What a horrible selection. Next.

 

GFY: Eddie Lacy R2 – 21

Here’s a pick at the time that seemed smart but did not pan out. Going into the contract year we thought big things were on the table. Only thing big were the meals going into his fat ass.

 

AFU: Sammy Watkins R3 – 27

Coming off a major foot surgery similar if not exact to the one Dez had has crushed his production. He had no business being selected this high. AFU recovered themselves pulling a Stevie Wonder on Vonteego Cross (UGHHH) picking up a keeper we will touch on later.

 

GFY: Tyler Lockett R4 – 45

This pick was questionable when it was made. Dynamic star? Yes. But worthy of being a 4th rd pick? No. Other WRs passed on at the time include 

 

Hits:

 

Monstars: Ezekiel Elliott R2 – 17

Zeke will be kept in the 1st round next year. I thought for sure COA would have snagged him with the 1st pick in Round 2.

 

Trojans: Michael Thomas R6 – 68

Nice pick here from Machete. Picks up a guy that has carved out a nice role, and is becoming the clear number 2 receiver on a high volume offense. Good keeper value going forward.

V. Cross: Carson Wentz R12 – 143

A player that will be kept by AFU in the 11th round next year.Incredible. Ortiz must have been heavily under the influence of Twisted Gays for making this trade. Robbery of the year.

 

V. Cross: Devontae Booker R14 – 167

Booker these days is looking like the better back at times in Denver. Could be a keeper option, only thing standing in his way is Denver just paid CJ Anderson.

 

 

 

 

The Davis Index Week 6

By: Thomas Davis

1. The average score for the week was the lowest it has been all season at 141.9 points.  

2. Center of Attention continues to be the only team to have a difficult matchup according to the Davis Index every week this season. The Monstars and The Romosexuals have had four difficult matchups this season.

3. The rest of Pussy Palace would have a combined .150 winning percentage against Center of Attention’s schedule this year.

4. The Rookie, GFY, DTA, and All Fired Up would still be winless against Center of Attention’s schedule.

5. The most consistent teams in terms of scoring on a weekly basis is unsurprising.  The two teams with five occurrences are Hailmary to the Kings and The Trojans.  These two teams have the best record and the most points scored in the league this season.

6. Team DTA left the most points on their bench with an average on 16.37 points per player on the bench.

7. If DTA started Terrance West and Eli Manning over Carlos Hyde and Alex Smith, they would have beaten the Trojans (yes I know Hindsight is 20/20).

8. The Rookie was the lowest with under 4 points per player.

9. The Rookie had the lowest score in Pussy Palace since ILoveBoys6969 (Fabish) had a whopping 60.9 points in week 10 of the 2014 season. 

10. If you gave The Rookie all of his bench points as well, he would still have been the lowest scoring team by nearly 15 points.

Random Player Facts I found interest

1. Golden Tate had more receiving yards this week then he had all season (165 yards vs 134 yards)

2. Case Keenum had as many touchdowns as he did passes hit the ground on Sunday

3. Drew Brees’ game on Sunday is his 15th 400 yard passing game, breaking the tie he had with Peyton Manning for the most in NFL history.

4. The next closest active player is Tom Brady with 8. 

5. 14 players had 30 plus points last week.

6. 14 players are average 20 points per game.

7. The Bucs and the Steelers are the only teams that have two players averaging 20 points per game (Mike Evans and Jameis Winston, Ben Roethlisberger and Antonio Brown)

8. Odell Beckham Jr. has as many points this season as Zeke Elliot

9. Martellus Bennet is second in the NFL in YAC

10. Greg Olsen is the only tight end in the top 25 flex options this season so far (10th overall).

11. Dennis Pitta is second amongst tight ends in catches.

12. Kenny Britt has more points per game then Demaryius Thomas, Brandon Marshall and DeAndre Hopkins.

13. Matt Ryan is on pace for 5552 and still wouldn’t win the passing yards title if paces stayed the same.

14. Andrew Luck is on pace to be sacked 69 times, which would be third all time.

15. Seattle Defense is continuing its run as a dominant defense.  They lead the league in yards per game, along with first downs allowed. They are also 4th in the league points per game.

 

Shitter Material

By: Mike Ortiz

Hey guys,

I just wanted to post a nice little write up for your afternoon shit today. It is from another league that I am in. It is written by an attorney that is not in the league but he is the commish of the league. It’s a nice perspective. Enjoy.

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Subject: TRADE APPROVED - JAY M

Alright I am going to start with making my stance clear on Fantasy Football Trades. Unless it is blatant collusion or close to it, I will not veto any trades. I have been playing Fantasy Football for a number of years and feel this is the best philosophy on judging trades. Someone might not like a trade because it makes a rival team better, but that doesn’t mean it also doesn’t help the other team involved in the trade as well. I also think people should be punished for making stupid trades or being bad at Fantasy Football. When a trade is submitted to me I can only see the players traded, so please let me know if someone traded away all their running backs as that is evidence of collusion that I won’t be able to see.

Since I was appointed as the Arbitrator for trade approval of this league, I decided I wasn’t just going to approve or deny trades. Since most of the fun of Fantasy football is making fun of other people’s teams, I figured the least I should be allowed to do is give my “expert” analysis of the trade. People are welcome to have their own opinions that differ from my analysis, but just know that those opinions are wrong and I am always right. Lastly, I have no idea team names or who has what players so this is completely impartial and impersonal. 

The trade proposed was Todd Gurley and Jeremy Hill for Kelvin Benjamin and Doug Martin. I will admit at first glance I thought this was robbery. Two starting running backs for a Top WR and an never healthy running back. Upon further review of the game tape and players numbers, however, I changed my mind. Todd Gurley is a Stud. Would be a top 3 back every week if he had even a half decent QB. Unfortunately he has Case Keenum. Not only is he the most boring man on the planet, but he has that rare combination of weak arm with bad accuracy. Hard to find at the NFL level, but Jeff Fisher always finds a way (proving why he finishes 8-8 ever year). Gurley is the best player in this trade. Jeremy Hill is the starting running back for the underachieving Bengals. On paper he looks like he is someone you would want on your team, but unfortunately that is not the case. Giovani Bernard is guaranteed to steal every third or passing down as well as 10-12 carries a game. Hill is TD dependent or you are looking at a guy averaging 46.6 yards a game. Not great. 

On the other side Benjamin is at least a top 10 WR every week (much higher when Cam Newton is healthy). He is one of a few WR’s in Fantasy that you can count on to either score or put up 100 yards receiving each week. Doug Martin on the other hand is the wild card. There have been good years for the Muscle Hamster and not good years. Like most of his bad years (he should probably be called the “Pulled Muscle Hamster”) he just can’t stay on the field. He is out this week and likely not going to return until after Tampa’s bye week at the earliest. He is the gamble in the trade. He could pay off or he could sit on the bench as “doubtful” all season due to injury. Someone is giving up Todd Gurley in exactly that hope, that Doug Martin pays off. I think the best way to look at this trade is this. No one probably makes the trade Gurley for Benjamin straight up (Gurley owner is giving up too much), but throw in Doug Martin and his potential to be a top 10 back when healthy and it swings the other way. Add Jeremy Hill to even the playing field a little and it’s a pretty even trade. Doug Martin is the key to how fair or lopsided this trade actually is. Not knowing the answer to this question is the Beauty of Fantasy Football and makes the trade fair.

VERDICT: TRADE APPROVED

The Davis Index Week 6

I decided to take a look at Center of Attention’s schedule both in relation to average points scored and how other teams would do against the same schedule.  The assumption I used was that everyone played what they believe is their best possible lineup out there and would not change a thing based on opponent.

1. Center of Attention is the only team to play a team that scored above the league average score every week this year.  

2. The Romosexuals and The Monstars are the only teams to have played an above average league score in 4 out 5 matchups.

3. Hailmary to the King, Team DTA, The Rookie, and Drink your Miller Ingrams have only had 1 week when they have played an above league average score.

4. No team would have a winning record against Center of Attention’s schedule.

5. The Trojans and The Romosexuals are the only two teams that would have 2 wins against the schedule.  

6. Team DTA, Team GFY, The Rookie, The Monstars, and All Fired Up would also be winless against Center of Attention’s schedule

7. The rest of the league as a whole would be a combined 8-42 against Center of Attention’s schedule.

8. The league average score was the second highest it has been all year at 148.8 points per team. 

9. It would have easily been the high score of the week if Drink Your Miller Ingrams and Center of Attention didn’t have embarrassing weeks. 

10. Week 5 matched week 2 with the most teams scoring over 150 points with 7.

Random Player Fun Facts I found

1. The number 4, 5, and 7 ranked WR’s of the week were on the waiver wire.

2. Two of those guys, Brandon Lafell and Adam Thielen are still available.

3. Cam Merideth despite being an unknown in PP til this week, has 3 fumbles on only 15 catches.  

4. In the never give up category, TY Hilton has had a 4thquarter touchdown in three consecutive games, his only three touchdowns on the season.

5. Sammie Coates has 26 yards less than his teammate Antonio Brown.

6. Julio Jones leads the league in yards after catch. Second in the NFL is teammate Tevin Coleman

7. In his past two games combined, Ben Roethlisberger has combined for 680 yards, 9 tds and 0 ints.

8. Bryan Hoyer and Sam Bradford are the only two qbs to have a completion percentage above or equal to 70%,

9. Ezekiel Elliott has increased his point total every week. Based on his current trend he will have 36+ points this week.

10. Ezekiel Elliot and Leveon Bell are the only two players to average 100 yards rushing per game this season.

11. After not scoring at all last year, Melvin Gordon leads the league in touchdown with 7, including getting at least 1 touchdown every week.

12. Just like the Madden Franchise, Marcus Mariota loves to fumble, leading the league amongst runners with Spencer Ware.

13. 15 tight ends scored more than 10 points last week

14. Greg Olsen has 8 20 yard plays so far this year.  That is more than all but 5 wide receivers. He is also 4th in the league in receiving yards per game.

15. The Chiefs D/ST is the 6th highest scoring defense based on a ppg basis. This is strictly thanks to Ryan Fitzpatrick since they have combined for 1 point in the other 3 games played.

 

Un-orthodox MMCB

By: Joe 2

​We are one of the few teams in the league that will trade whatever it takes to get what we want. This season we moved Rob Gronkowski, Antonio Brown, Tevin Coleman, acquired and traded Willie Sneed, John Stewart, and Pierre Garcon. In these trades MMCB acquired Ezekiel Elliot, Brandon Marshall, Delanie Walker, T.J. Yeldon, and Alfred Morris. (All from the Monstars I might add) Did they improve short term or long term? Let’s take a look at the roster to see if they improved and see if its build for a playoff run or preparing for next year.

​I’m going to say we did a little bit of both, playing for the playoffs and setting up to be in good position next year. Going into the year some considered Zeek a first round talent and he fell to the second round. Zeek looks like he’s getting better and better as the season goes on, in his last 3 games he rushed 140, 138, and 134 yards each game. All coming on less carries each time (30, 23, and 15). Zeek is doing something most rookies struggle with, and that is waiting for holes to open up. I think Zeek is realizing that he was gifted into being drafted to a team with arguably the best rushing O-line in the game. As Tim pointed out Dak does just enough to keep the pressure off Zeek so he doesn’t get the Gurley treatment.

​When Tony Romo returns the carries might dip, but it’s nice to see he can produce RB1 numbers with 15-20 carries.Dallas is starting to trust him in the pass game as well so he has a incredibly high floor. At the end of the season Zeek for Brown might be a wash, difference is he can be kept. Giving up a fist round pick would be easy, if a suspended La’veon Bell can be taken in the first, my Co-owner and I would agree keeping him would be a no brainer, especially with how thin RBs seem to be this year. I give Tim full credit on this one. Zeek and Freeman would lock down the RB spot so we can focus on WR in the second or whoever falls, and then gauge how the QB situation turns out.  IMO you can draft a good QB in rounds 4-8 and still get quality, see Matt Ryan so we won’t put too much thought into that spot.

​Next we have Brandon Marshall; it was nice to see yesterday a solid game out of him. Going in to week 5 Marshall was ranked 36 Overall. By his standards he was vastly underperforming, having 2 games scoring under 10 points; he was a great buy low candidate so we bought. When given the opportunity, Marshall is among the league’s best WR based on the volume he receives. A lot of his struggles can be blamed on the poor play of Fitzpatrick (9 picks in 2 games). I felt we seen the worst from him and when big dick Decker comes back he should return to his form and become the WR 1 he use to be. By the end of the season I will predict he finishes inside the top 15 in his position. 

​Delanie Walker is an interesting one, last season Delanie Walker finished the season as the second best TE finishing behind Gronk by roughly 11 Pts Points (256.1 Gronk – 245.9 Walker). Now id be foolish to say he finishes close to that again because of his slow start. But, he also got off to a slow start last year (check his stats if you don’t believe me) as well and then picked up the pace averaging about 7 catches a game for about 70 yards. Delanie isn’t the #1 option in the offense, Demarco is; but he’s still the number one passing option and I can see him finishing out around the top 5 in TE. That’s why we were sold on him.

​T.J. Yeldon and Morris are just bye week flyers/handcuff, we didn’t really want to move Sneed but we lacked depth at RB, Ivory and Morris weren’t going to cut it. We don’t expect Yeldon to all of a sudden be a stud, but we wanted a guy who could be decent in the absence of Freeman and Zeek. Also wasn’t bad that we got his handcuff too. 

​So in short, yea we do make a lot of moves but there is a lot of thought put into each transaction we make. We even go as far as going to the people’s house and try and make a deal till midnight on a work night!! (Magz) I really could go more in depth on how we operate but I can let out all the secrets on to what makes us a successful co-ownership. There are reasons beyond clovers being up my ass ;) on why each year we are competitive. I wouldn’t look too much in the current 1-3 record. I can see that changing in the upcoming weeks and ready to make a push in the playoffs.

 

Davis Index

Week 5 The Davis Index

The Davis Index is being created this week. It will be an attempt to determine who the most consistent teams are week over week in relation to the rest of the league.  

Team Fun Facts

1. Even with Vonteego Cross going off for 232.9 points in Week 5, the average league score last week was the lowest it has been all year.

2. The average score has been on a steady decline from week 1 to week 4.  Bye weeks and injuries can be an explanation for this.

3. Vonteego Cross is the only member of Pussy Palace to both lead the league in scoring one week, and be the low scorer another week.

4. Dating Back to 2014 (ding), Vonteego Cross has the most points for any week in Pussy Palace, narrowly beating out The Trojans 2014 Week 13 domination of The Romosexuals by .1 points.

5. The average score needed to be kicked off the island this season is 120.4 points. Below that number and you are in danger.

6. Hailmary to the King, the Trojans, and Drink your Miller Ingrams are the only teams that have finished above league average points 3 times this year. 

7. The Romosexuals, Team Go Fuck Yourself, Mean Machine Child Beaters, and The Rookie have scored above average in half of their games.

8. So Call Me Brady, All Fired Up is the only team to not finish above the league average in any week 

9. All Fired Up has the least amount of points scored, and the second least amount of points against so far this season.

10. The narrowest point differential in the league currently is the Romosexuals, with +11.

Player Fun Facts

1. Matt Ryan had the first 500 yard passing game this year.  Last year it happened twice (Brees and Rivers).  How did the Rookie not make the playoffs with those two quarterbacks again in mid-October?

2. Matt Ryan is currently leading Pussy Palace in scoring for the season. 

3. The difference between 1st and 2nd is the same as the difference between 2nd and 16th in the standings (1Q MVP???)

4. Matt Ryan is the only quarterback to have at 20 points in each of his first four games.

5. Julio Jones is the 6th player to get to 300 yards receiving in a game and is the only active player to do so (Antonio Brown was closest with 284).

6. In the top 20 list of most receiving yards in a game, Julio Jones is the only player to appear twice on that list.

7. Michael Crabtree and Marvin Jones are the only two top 5 Wide receivers without a single point fantasy game this season.

8. Only 7 wide receivers are averaging 10 targets a game so far, with Mike Evans leading the way averaging 12.

9. DeMarco Murray is the only running back to have at least 20 points in each of his four games.

10. In addition to the yards and touchdowns, DeMarco Murray is second amongst running backs in catches with 19.

11. Murray is only behind Theo Riddick who is on pace for another 80 catch season.

12. Greg Olsen is one of two tight ends with double digit fantasy points in every game this year.

13. The other is Kyle Rudolph.

14. Justin Tucker and Dustin Hopkins have outscored all but 21 running backs in official PP scoring.

15. The Vikings DST has scored more points than the number 10 running back in official PP scoring

 

Note: I will add more context and comments in the coming week, especially once I add more to my excel file.  Good luck in week 5.

LEAGUE OWNER BREAKDOWN

By: Steve Gambs

Pussy Palace 2016, some say it is a prude league and others swear by this league. I suppose it is all a matter of opinion. I ask you however, name me another league where a member leaves, trash talks the league and then comes back as a partial owner. A partial owner of a team where a physical law abiding contract was signed, might I add. 

Pussy Palace, a league where there is an award named after a former member of the league, given to the team that comes in last place. An award given with multiple penalties that are served for being the scrub of the league(that no one follows anyway, becuase the members of the league are actually SOFT). 

Pussy Palace, a league where every single members bark is much larger than its bite. So far this year the only person to step up and be a man of his word is Pat, as much as it pains me to say it. He paid his bar tab(or onofrio did, that is still yet to be proven or determined) so he can keep TWO players.

Here is the breakdown of each teams owner in no praticular order.....

The Rookie, Owner- Chris Aff

A smack talking under aged child who believes he can "run wild" whenever he wants. He lives in the shadows of his cousin Maggs(which is an extremely large shadow as most of you can imagine). He went to Tampa for school where he had the BEST opportunity to be a child and "run wild" as he calls it and have ZERO worry about anything. Yet he decided to throw all of that away to come back home where he now follows in the footsteps of his mentor, Mike Ortiz which is a very very long spiral road.. which bring me to my next owner.

Vontego Cross, Owner- Mike Ortiz/Joe Zimbardi

Mike ortiz, a once PP Champion who is way over the hill in the fantasy football world. He claims to be the originator of fantasy to the friend group. Well to that Mr. Ortiz I say one thing, if you have been in the game that long, maybe it is time to retire. I mean all the "greats" retire at some point after their "one shinning moment".  Take advise from some of my buddies, Aaron Boone, Livan Hernandez, Ickey Woods, Christian Laettner, Dallas Braden, Shane Spencer, David Tyree, Buster Douglas and even TIM TEBOW!! The last step before hangin up the cleats is bringing in a Co-Owner to help you get through your elder years, you are heading in the right direction. Do what is best for business and hang them up, it would only benefit you.

Team DTA, Owner Kevin/????

AMBER ALERT!!!! AMBER ALERT!!!! DJ IS MISSING.. IF YOU HAVE SEEN HIM PLEASE RETURN HIM TO HIS FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE, WE MISS HIM!!!

Team Doubtful To Advance, the team that is co-owned, I think. I can only speak about the owner of this team that participates throughout the season and that is Kevin. Kevin, I enjoy taking bathroom selfies at the gym like I am a sixteen year old girl getting ready for a Friday Night Mixer. The team that has the most bias opinions known to fantasy. What do I say about Kevin, he lives for Two Roads, cries when his beloved Road Jam is no longer, and does not drive once the street light come on. Oh and he LOVES himself a TASTE of Onofrio.

All Fired Up, Owner- Onofrio

HA HA HA HA HA what a joke. You go from being the Champion of the league, to playing against the same schedule as last year and being the bottom of the barrel. Yes I said the same schedule as last year because he is also our BELOVED COMMISH who did not change the schedule. I mean it is just a minor detail, why fix it. He is a true Commish though, corrupt as all the others and does whatever it takes to get what he wants, just ask Pat. Onofrio got a very nice blowy from Pat to get back in this league. 

P.S. How is Dion Lewis doing?

Hail Mary I To The Queen, Owner- Pat

Should be calleD, Hail Mary I Should Be Clean. I bonified Junkie who enjoys nights out with hookers and an occasional cocaine trip, but STOP guys, he doesn't do drugs! I think he has a lot more in common with Onofrio than the average eye might see though. They both are absolutely in love with Bar 80, they are both not the tallest people in the world, and they both had keepers who wont play this year. I am starting to see what is going on here, if i see Onofrio with a hooker and/or cocaine we are in trouble. Maybe Pat should follow the footsteps of his keeper Josh Gordon, remember Pat the first sign of an addiction is denile.

Drink Your Miller Ingrams, Owner- Thomas/Fabish

I have never had much grip with these owners, other than the fact that whe Thomas drinks he produces enough saliva to wash an entire 18 wheeler, but hey who am I to judge. Then there is Fabish, I mean come on, its Fabish do I need to bash him?

Mean Machine Child Beaters, Owner- Joe2/Timbo

Joe2 every single thing he touched turns to gold and it is starting to get a tad rediculous. This kid must have about 7 or 8 four leafe clovers shoved so far up his as they will never run out. Then there is Timbo, a good hearted slugish kid who could easily be mistaken for one of Jerry's Kids if he were in DIsney, and I aint talking about Jerry Jones! FREEMAN FOR PRESIDENT!! TIMBO IN 20-NEVER!!!

The Trojans, Owner- Maggs

Michael I need atleast 2 'ME DAYS" a week and dont you dare bother me on a Sunday Maggliochetti. Weighing in at a whopping 325 pounds(im being generous here) and topping over6 feet tall, one would think he would have a bigger set of balls than he does. He actually needs to ask Sam if he can have his balls back just so he can jerk off. These are actuall facts here people, you can see it live and in person next year at the 2017 Northern States Expodition- THE BIG E, he will be located right next to the Worlds Heaviest Pig booth. Buy now for special prcing $1 gets you enterance into both exibits.

The Romosexuals, Owner- DeMayo

The 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, 5 time, winner of the ugliest penis award, which his most recent title coming in 2016. JD is also the Fantasy Gods favorite participant in ALL of fantasy. One will never learn, he can have the best roster year in and year out, but the fantasy god DO NOT LIKE an ugly penis JD. Do the world(exspecially boo) a favor and get that shit fixed, or atleast trimmed up a little. Actually get yourself fixed, this world doesnt need baby DeMayo's running around it in the years to come.

Center Of Attention, Owner- Ginger

The door mat of Pussy Palace. Ginger went from being a top contender with Joe Zimbardi by his side, to the laughing stock of the league. This year he even brought in help for the draft!! We can all see that this did not work, which only leaves you with one more option. Let Murphy have full control of the team!!!! One year is okay to be in the bottom, but two years in a row is a trend Ginger, it is time to "cut the dead weight" as our lovely Commish says, and you my friend are the definition of The Dead Weight of Pussy Palace.

The Monstars, Owner- Eric

Not much to say, he has only been a part of this league for going on 2 years now. Other than making a stir last year and picking up players while he was "out of contention" which i totally agree with, spend your FAB!!! That is why we have it, I dont see much wrong with Eric. Just do me a favor, dont make that noise for a while, it hurts my ears! OH and lastly, he has one hell of a SMOKE SHOW of a wife,,, Kudos to you Eric!!!

TGFY, Owner- Gambs/Sarno

G.O.A.T      Enough said. You didn't think I was going to bash my own team, did you?