Championship Week

Championship Week

It is championship week and it’s a matchup of two of the top 3 teams in Pussy Palace all season.  The Rookie’s prediction is “Maggs because he’s the best team in there outside of me. I should’ve been in there easy.”  Well he would have been if Mixon didn’t get concussed or Gronk wasn’t a douchebag.  The matchup looks like a slam dunk for Maggs with his elite players across the board.  If projections are correct, No Bobby No only outscores The Trojans at QB 1, WR 3, and Kicker.  The Antonio Brown injury gives No Bobby No a little hope, but The Trojans needed only 5 players to win their semifinal matchup.  For No Bobby No to win, they must have an other worldly performance from someone, potentially getting a bonus.  Unfortunately, No Bobby No does not appear to have bonus upside outside of Russell Wilson, and even that is very slim since he diversifies his yardage between passing and rushing, Also, if Wilson were to bonus, it would most likely include a huge game from Tyler Lockett.  No Bobby No’s best shot is an injury from a qb or other extremely important player.  

With all that said here are some predictions

Ginger: Thomas wins because FUCK MAGGS

Murphy: I feel it’ll be a close game but I’m behind you winning. AB being out is a big blow to Machete’s squad regardless of his receiving corps. He would have had a HUGE game against Houston.  Looking at the teams, I see a lot of plus side on No Bobby No’s matchups.  Machete takes a hit with Brees because let’s be honest they only run now.  Machete has to play Lockett who isn’t relevant at all. Your qbs can either have great games with the defenses they’re playing but I say Howard maybe Taylor help No Bobby No to the title.  

Joe 2: I’m taking you, I don’t think LB gets his projected 26 points, his QB won’t show up, Gurley scores about 15. Magz has his best chance ever to win, but it’s too good to be true. He gets harassed by the league and Magz trading co. goes into hibernation for another 2 years.

JD: I think the Trojans due to the matchups for their qb’s, 3 RB’s as well as their recent consistency. I do think it will be closer than a lot of people probably think.

Gambs: I’m going to say Maggs, just because his team is to balanced…even with Brown going down his team is almost not even effected by it.  If that injury happened to another team it would be devastating, but not for his team. 

Eric: Maggs, his team is so consistent and even without AB his team is still stacked

Kevin: I have to say Machete. Gurley and Bell are gonna light up Ten and Hou like 4th of July 

Chuck: Maggs but I think you could a better job with your lineup

Money in the Bank- Great Matchup between two very close teams.  I think mean Machine wins because of Dak and Baldwin.  I think the game is a shootout and the Cowboys have struggled against the slot all season   Hopkins will have a great game but Mean Machine holds on in a close one winning by 5 or less. I should be rooting for the Gingers to win because Goff needs to throw some touchdowns for them to have a shot.  Hopefully those aren’t to Gurley

Alternate Realities

Last year No Bobby No got into the playoffs because The Trojans started the Rams DST which got -3.  The team road that momentum all the way to a finals appearance.  

I have two scenarios from Week 13 that happened that changed everything.   

If Joe Mixon doesn’t get concussed

All Fired Up makes the playoffs and loses to The Trojans

No Bobby No is the 4-seed losing to the Trojans in round 2 and the finals are now the Ginger Snaps vs the Trojans

The Monstars beat Vonteego Cross in the Murphy brackets after beating Ride or Dies.

If Gronk does not get suspended

If Gronk does not get suspended, I would expect him to score at least 3.1 points,

The Rookies moves on to play No Bobby No and wins a great matchup 192.4-180.4. 

The Rookie would be playing The Trojans this round instead.

Authors Note:  If we lose this week, I will be taking a poll to ask if we should change our team name to the Buffalo Bills because this would be our 3rd consecutive finals loss.

Playoff Preview Round 2

Semi-Final Preview

What a week it was last week, with a major upset in Mean Machine beating The Rookie despite a huge Chiefs reversal.  The Trojans, No Bobby No and the Ginger Snaps took care of business and we are left with an interesting final four. The Murphy bracket had its own drama with Vonteego Cross giving up all hope after Ben Roethlisberger took Ortiz into the Bar 80 bathroom, only to have Smokin Jay Cutler prove he can be a high end two, against the Patriots, at home. All Fired Up took care of business, after Pat texted me asking about what you get for winning the consolation bracket, thinking he had his win locked up thanks to hot starts by Josh Gordon and Doug Martin.  Pat was ultimately done in by the fantasy grim reaper himself Tom Brady.  

With all this in mind we move on to week 15, which has the most important game all season in the AFC.  If the Steelers win over the Patriots, they lock up a bye and the number 1 seed with some help.   Can this hurt The Trojans in a potential championship matchup?

Semifinal #1 – The Trojans vs Ginger Snaps

What a matchup between the two highest scoring teams last week.  These two terms have split two matchups this season and are coming off dominant victories.  The Trojans are led by Antonio Brown who has 149.7 points in his last 4 games combined.  The team has 3 top 10 wrs, 3 top 6 rb’s, and two top 12 qbs.  The area of weakness for this team is Kyle Rudolph (in a walking boot and might not play this week) along with an underwhelming Seattle defense.  The team does have replacements on the bench if they would like to swap out.  Drew Brees has been a huge disappointment this season with only 2 300 yard games and only 1 game with 3 td.  I expect this to continue this week, since the Saints will probably have no reason to throw against the Jets and Bryce Petty.  

The Ginger Snaps are hoping Deandre Hopkins continues to be peppered with targets despite playing against the fantastic Jags secondary.  Cooper Kupp has caught at least 5 passes in 5 consecutive games and has been very consistent recently.  He is the only rookie wr to have a shot at 1000 yards.  Jared Goff has been better then Brees and will need to be for the Ginger Snaps to win.  Someone needs to have a massive performance for the Ginger Snaps to advance.  Here is the Wild Card:  I would start Dede Westbrook over Matthews this week.  Marcus Mariotta is not healthy and Dede Westbrook should be able to get behind the pathetic Texans defense at will. He has a shot at having a massive game and is the type of hail mary that can help you pull a massive upset.

Prediction:  The Trojans win a close matchup that will have a combined total nearing 350 points. The biggest difference maker will be Todd Gurley who will destroy the Seahawks and Murphy’s dreams in the process, causing him to throw his hat across Chuck’s basement and storm upstairs to have a slice of pizza.

Semifinal #2- No Bobby No vs Mean Machine Child Beaters 

A closely contested matchup between two teams that have taken very different paths to get here.  Solid drafting and minimal moves got No Bobby No here, why Mean Machine had to revamp half of their roster to advance this far.  It’s no secret that I think the commish and Timbo have done a fantastic job of managing this season. With the hopeful return of Tyrod Taylor against a Miami team coming off a huge emotional win over New England, No Bobby No hopes solid qb play will at least match Prescott and Smith, who have two great matchups in Primetime.  Dak Prescott is going to score at least 20 points, but No Bobby No is in trouble if he can get a third touchdown.  Russell Wilson has been the top qb in the league this year averaging over 26 points per game.  Unfortunately, one of his two duds were against the LA Rams, who he plays this weekend.  The Running backs should favor No Bobby No with Jordan Howard and Devonta Freeman finally coming back to life last week, and having what appears to be positive matchups this week.  Hyde has been a rock all season and will probably have another solid game this week, but Lynch might struggle against the Cowboys with All World Linebacker Sean Lee.   WR’s do favor No Bobby No while tight end, defense and kicker clearly favor Mean Machine.  Zach Ertz is back and facing a pathetic Giants defense, but can Nick Foles be trusted? Mean Machine has the best defense in fantasy by far.  I personally think this is the matchup of the top two defenses this week with Mean Machine having a clear advantage. Seriously, I do not remember the last time I saw a defense projected for 15 points.  

Prediction: I reached out to DeMayo to make this pick.

“I will pick No Bobby No if Tyrod plays because I like your QB’s as much if not more than his.  I think you have a better spot at RB, and I like your WR more.  Going to be a great matchup and think it’ll be VERY tight but I give the edge to No Bobby No.”

Murphy Bracket

Choice of pick matchup- All Fired Up vs Vonteego Cross 

Joe Mixon is still in the concussion protocol as of this writing while Kamara claims he is good to go.  Carson Wentz tearing his ACL really hurts All Fired Up because now they are stuck starting Eli Manning.  Vonteego Cross spent money to get Nick Foles because with Rodgers back, they did not have two starting qb’s.  Mike Evans has been a gross disappointment this season, but Hogan is back and Drake has been a beast since he got the job.  Vonteego Cross has made some great moves for players like DaVante Adams, Marquise Goodwin, and the previously mentioned Foles. All Fired Up has the edge on defense and is hopeful for a big game from Jimmy Garappolo.  This matchup is so close, all it takes is one dud for a team to lose.  

Prediction:  Alvin Kamara leads Vonteego Cross to victory and Joe Mixon lets All Fired Up down one last time.  

The battle for the toilet seat- Team GFY vs Ride or Dies 

Another close matchup that will probably come down to Monday Night Football with 3 players in this matchup playing. Team GFY has the advantage at running back and wide receiver while Ride or dies appear to have the edge at qb, tight end and flex. Defense is a clear advantage for Pat and Marty along with kicker, but the Rams are playing the better qb. Really the deciding factor is will Rodgers have any rust in a must win comeback game.  I think he might and I think the Packers will lose. A fun fact is the last time either of these teams won was week 8.  

Prediction: Rodgers comes back rusty and Ride or Dies goes from First to Last.

Playoff Preview Week 1

Playoffs Week 1 

After a crazy Monday night, with All Fired Up suffering the ultimate heartbreak, we enter the playoffs with 8 teams hoping to gain the trophy.  We are guaranteed to crown a new champion after Ride or Dies tumbled from the clear-cut top team to number 10 hoping to avoid the toilet seat that our former commissioner graciously gifted to the league on draft day.  

Tonight, I will preview all 6 matchups, hopefully providing some additional context with how we got here along the way.  

The Trojans vs The Monstars- These two teams split the series 1 vs 1 as we enter the all-important rubber match.  The Trojans hope to get off to a hot start on Thursday night with Brees and Thomas traveling to Atlanta in a must win game for the Falcons.  Come to think of it, Maggs’ team will be all over the prime time games this week with players in all 4 prime matchups.  Eric can focus solely on the Panthers vs Vikings games having 4 players in that one matchup.  A player of note Eric should consider playing is Danny Amendola, who has tremendous numbers when Gronk is out of lineup.  

Prediction: The Trojans go into Sunday night football down, but end up taking the matchup and move on to the Semi Finals

The Rookie vs Mean Machine Child Beaters-  A beer bet is on the line as we have a rematch from week 10, which The Rookie won by 33 points.  Rob Gronkowski is suspended due to a dirty disgusting hit that even made The Hoodie ashamed.  The Rookie is lucky Gronk only got one game, and Gronk should be begging Belichick to give him off Christmas Eve to avoid escalating an otherwise ugly situation. Greg Olsen is practicing, but who knows how healthy he really is.  At the time of writing this, Mark Ingram has not practiced this week and is a true Game Time Decision.  I think he will play, but how effective he is anyone’s guess.  If he doesn’t play The Rookie can choose between Ginn and Gore.   Jameis Winston is a TERRIBLE real life qb, but gets it done in fantasy. That turnover last week was nothing short of comical.  Rivers is an excellent start this week and was a great trade by The Rookie. The Mean Machine might get my award for my managers of the year, salvaging bad injuries to make the Playoffs and be super competitive.  This team can have a big week, especially if Zach Ertz is out.   Agholor becomes a top 18 wr for me if that is the case, not bad for $10 faab. Their qbs have great matchups as do the tight ends and I expect this matchup to have the highest combined score of the week.  A player on the bench Mean Machine should consider is Martavis Bryant, who scored 2 tds the last time Pittsburgh played the Ravens without Jimmy Smith. 

Authors Note: I believe it is the second year in a row that The Rookie has someone on his roster who is retired.  Last year was Arian Foster, this year The Rookie still has Darren McFadden on his roster

Prediction: Ok I am going to cop out on this one, Mean Machine wins if Mark Ingram is inactive.  If Mark Ingram plays I think the Rookie squeaks out a close one. You mustaccount for Joe 2 magic come playoff time

No Bobby No vs Team DTA- This is clearly the worst playoff matchup.  No Bobby No has had a horrible last few weeks and DTA is the lowest scoring team in the league. No Bobby No did win in week 3 over DTA.  This 3 vs 6 matchup will most likely be the lowest scoring playoff matchup.  No Bobby no has 3 Bills qb’s current on their roster and will probably have to start Nathan Peterman (sorry I just ran to the bathroom and threw up).   I am hoping for 10 -12 points from the lowly Bills backup. No Bobby No got extremely lucky last week thanks to Mixon’s injury to steal the three seed away from the more deserving Ginger Snaps.  The rb’s, which were supposed to be the core of this team have grossly underperformed.   The lone bright spots have been Russell Wilson (number 1 qb), Larry Fitzgerald (number 5 WR), and Zach Ertz who is trying to recover from a concussion. The tough start sit decision for No Bobby No is Demaryius vs Marquise Lee. Team DTA’s needs to hope Fournette is healthy since the last time he ran for over 4.0 YPC in a game was week 6.  The wr’s are low floor high ceiling kind of guys, especially Crowder who will probably go off this week. Crowder and Burkhead have the most potential for monster weeks in my opinion. The qb’s are both number 2’s this season and will probably get around 20, with Mariota having potential for more.  Duke Johnson has been extremely steady this season and should be reliable again.  For them to win, Burkhead and Fournette need to score touchdowns. Go Dion Lewis

Prediction: I reached out to Joe 2 to make the prediction “No Bobby No wins by 20+, DTA’s WR aren’t great and GB D is gonna get Flashed.”

The Ginger Snaps vs The Romosexuals- A True nail biter, this matchup is going to be awesome to watch.  The Romosexuals won by 28 points week 3 giving the Ginger Snaps their second loss of the season.  They only had 2 more after that. The Romosexuals have 2 of his 3 most important players going tomorrow night so they have something to watch for. The Romosexuals have the second best wr grouping in the league with 3 top 14 wrs (Yes Robby Anderson is number 14). Matt Ryan is by far the lowest ranked qb in this matchup at 19, but The Romosexuals have the better qb matchups. Golden Tate should have a monster game if Stafford plays because the Bucs are just pathetic. The Ginger Snaps have the best rb and wr in this matchup and will need to make their points up at the tight end and flex positions.   A Shoot for the stars start like Dede Westbrook might be in order since the Seahawks have struggled with fast wr’s in the past.  

The nice part of this matchup is 90 percent of the players will be done before the Sunday night game so both teams should know where they stand.  

Prediction: The Romosexuals squeak out a Monday night win, after we get several Jamal Williams complaint messagesfrom Ginger in the Groupme Sunday afternoon.  Really, he should be saying complaining about the Garbage Browns.

Murphy Award

All Fired Up vs Ride or Dies- All Fired Up is still trying to win while the last time Pat and Marty won was week 7 and have been the lowest scoring team the last two weeks. That win was against All Fired Up so anything is possible.  Expect a big game from jimmy Garoppolo, whose teammates love him per post game quotes.  Dion Lewis and Greg Zuerlein should also have monster games.  One player All Fired Up should consider playing is Sterling Shephard with Eli Manning back.   The Cowboys struggled before last week against wr’s.  Ride or Dies needs to hope for massive games from Gordon and a potentially returning Cooper to advance and have a shot at the choice of pick.  If they advance, they can potentially win it with a returning Rodgers. I do not think Doug Martin plays this week either so either Cohen or Stills are potential options to replace him.

Prediction: All Fired Up wins this one in a close matchup. 

Team GFY vs Vonteego Cross- Two of the unluckiest teams square off in a close matchup. This is one of Vonteego Cross’ two wins this season. Alvin Kamara might be the number 1 running back this week.  One player Vonteego Cross should look to get into their lineup at all cost is Goodwin, playing against a garbage Texans defense.  He might have a Will Fuller type game.  Team GFY might have a huge week.  Carr and Big Ben have good matchups, as do Cooks and Marvin Jones.  I would consider starting Jermaine Kearse since he has been solid number 2 wr with huge upside recently.  I know they are playing the Broncos, but are the Broncos really the Broncos anymore.  

Prediction: Team GFY wins in a nail biter continuing Vonteego Cross’ string of bad luck