Method To The Madness

If spelling is bad or sentences suck, I apologies in advance, I hate to proof read, and I rely on spell check for anything and everything!!! I have used quoted from people I've dealt with but will keep names out Enjoy....

By: Joe 2

At the center of controversy of 80% of trades you will find the MMCB. At draft day they moved what "8 out of 12 league members would have picked #1 over all " (Source anonymous) .The leagued cried for their head "they should be voted out" "they could have got more" "JD has the best team in the league" "worst trade since Murphy" I can go on but you get the idea. To everyone's surprise the MMCB started off 3-0 behind the the strong core of Aaron Rodgers, Rob Gronkowski, Emmanuel Sanders, and the emergence of players like Tyrod Taylor, and Chris Johnson  put them in the conversation of championship caliber. 

Making their first trade of the season and certainty not last, the MMCB made a trade with the rookies sending Andre Johnson and Rashad Jennings, in  return they would receive Doug Baldwin. A small move they did not upset he core players, just a minor tweak. Looking at the trade now MMCB still hold both players where the rookies cut Andre Johnson and hardly ever use Jennings. Vereen still serves as a Flex/bye week filler as does Baldwin.

Next the MMCB had to address their growing weakness at RB, so they contacted an old friend in Chris Ivory. After a few days of going back and forth with Vonteego Cross, both teams came to terms and decided to swap Eric Decker, Collin Kaepernick, and Luke Kuechly, in exchange for Chris Ivory, Nick the league bitch Foles and Paul Posluszny. Looking at the trade now zero of those players are currently on MMCB, where Vonteego Cross still has Decker and Kuechly. Ivory served hes need to help stabilize they roster RB needs but would soon be shipped out. Posluszny cut, Foles traded, Ivory traded. 

After these two traded the MMCB started to lose steam and had to shake up the roster, the team was still scoring between 150-160 per week but wasn't getting the job done. One of the owners wasn't to happy!! On going talks with Hail Mary to the Kings for about 3 days about a much coveted player going on a historic streak of 30 Pts per game was wanted BAD!!! He was ready to go all in and send what ever he had to to get this guy. The other half wanted no part of this "if you think it will make the team better by all means go for it" And that's all he needed =).

Who would have thought that the MMCB could be at the center of ANOTHER mind boggling trade. This time only one person was on the side of MMCB "We were wrong about the Luck trade we could be wrong about this one too" (Anonymous) " You could have got more" "you got Raped" is still a popular one. But in reality could they have??? Everyone claims that a team could have got more but I will give an example later where that was proven false.(1) The MMCB sent the core of Rob Gronkowski (a guy they spoke so highly at the start of the year) Emmanuel Sanders (Peyton Manning's go to guy) Nick the bitch Foles, and Joseph Randle in exchange for arguably the leagues best keeper and maybe #1 overall RB, Matt "bye week filler" Cassel, Brandon Lafell and Ryan Matthews. What were they thinking on this!!!!

 (My Belief) The Broncos will look to run the ball more, resulting in a dip in production from the already dreadful passing game of Peyton Manning and a guy who falls off at the end of the season. Gronkowski will always be gronk, but consistency wont be there, much like the saints of the past, the Patriots just have to many mouths to feed, one day they can pound the ball into the ground with Blount or Lewis, the next week they might just want go pass happy with Gronk, Lafell, Edelman, and little Amandola. Foles is ehh he was irrelevant, and Randle I felt he was going to lose his job. Lone and behold he did. Davonta Freeman not only has keeper appeal but is the main weapon in that offense and will continue to be as long as Julio Jones is being double teamed. Cassel = Foles, Matthews is the wild card, this year he goes from good game to bad game, his good games are when he is given the opportunity to play, his bad is when Demarco is being fed just because. Ryan Matthews is the best weapon on the Eagles going forward and I see Chip getting him more involved. Lafell was just gravy added, I love having a weapon in the Patriots offense.  

 

The fantasy gods are looking over the MMCB, after agreeing  to a trade with the Romosexuals, they agreed on sending Aaron Rodgers, Vereen and CJ2K in exchange for Arian Foster, and Tony Romo. The MMCB loved it, they would have to tank a few games too wait for Romo but to hold the fort down Foster would add they extra 20 pts a game to a team that needed it. The league wasn't happy with us finding a loophole, so they thought they were slick and did the trade. After hours of arguing their point, the league was still in a uproar. The trade committee VETOED the deal and that was that. A few hours later I re-proposed the trade to the Romosexualls. It sat in the cue for about 45 min, then i withdrew it. I thought to my self id rather wait till Monday. Last 2 min of the game, Foster goes down and hes out for the season. Blessing in disguise, the MMCB loved it.

 Finally, to address the glaring hole at WR, MMCB go out and get their guy!! MMCB and DTA agree on sending a Packer to a Packer fan. Randall Cobb for Chris Ivory and Tavon Austin. This trade doesn't need much explanation, DTA needed RB help and MMCB needed a WR. Trade makes sense for both teams. CJ2K has proven to be legit so sending out a Flex guy in Ivory made sense to get a WR2 in Cobb, double points for tds with the combo of AR and RC.

(1) Some backlash prior to the trade again, "I could of got more" "I'm selling Rodgers to cheap" " I should be getting Robinson or Calvin back". So MMCB did something they don't normally do, they took the advice of the people and put him back on the trade block. Taking offers for about 4 days, MMCB started to ask for more, they contacted at least 6-7 teams, not a deal was to be made. Most responses were ''were under valuing the players we want' "were asking for to much" "my QB's are better or not that much worse" one team came pretty close but the extra piece they wanted didnt bode well for MMCB so they decided to keep him for a playoff push. Moral of the story "You have to run your own team. I try not to listen to the peanut gallery. There is a reason why everyone does a trade. Its to make their team better in how they perceive it" (anonymous). Couldn't have said it better my self!!!!!

Never count out the MMCB, each year they makes trades that make people wonder WTF were they thinking, and each time it ends up working out.They may not watch sports, but who needs to watch sports when the FF gods are looking over them!!!

 

The Reason For Veto

By: Thomas Davis

Ortiz has made 4 trades this year and none have gone before the trade committee. As posted in the group chat, the rules say all trades involving the commissioner go before the trade committee. The trade in question was accepted at 10:17am and upheld at 10:18am. The commissioner came to me in the preseason and asked me to approve his draft pick trade, which I did because it was an extremely simple trade.  I was asked by someone in the trade committee to not do that again because it gives one person too much power, which I have respected.  

The reason I vetoed the original trade is I do not want to set precedent that the commissioner can abuse our league rules whenever it fits his needs. Just like the previous veto, it wasn't the trade itself, but the process of the trade that required a veto. What happens if he makes a questionable deal at 11:55am on Thursday and Maggs is not responding to his phone or I am in a meeting? Ortiz now knows the rule and does not have precedent to just push his trade through and move on.  

At the time of this writing, the trade has been submitted through the proper channels and has been approved.

Trade deadline is approximately 49 hours away, good luck

The Rookie Write-Up

The 1-6 Rookie is going to SNEAK into the playoffs!

The Rookie has faced a brutal start to his pussy palace career, starting his rookie campaign at 1-6. Taking a look at history, we see superstars like Peyton Manning who threw an abysmal 28 interceptions in his rookie season and looked horrendous or Troy Aikmen and even Terry Bradshaw. These hall of famers or in Peyton's case future hall of famer struggled tremendously in their rookie campaigns but turned out to be something special. But for this rookie, he has taken his bumps n' bruises, learned from them and will show the world his adjustments. I truly BELIEVE this kid has a chance to sneak his way INTO the playoffs and I will tell you why.

The 4 teams that will NOT make the playoffs will be, The Gingersnaps, The Monstars, Mean Machine, and DTA. 

I don't have to provide much detail for this one because everyone knows the Gingersnaps are just flat out awful. They have nothing at receiver, nothing at running back, and essentially nothing at all. Unless the gingers get lucky again as they did vs. the chubby commissioner in Week 6 they should not win another game the rest of the season. They are the easy favorite to be wearing that maid costume come next September and I'll gladly take anyone's money who thinks otherwise.

The second team that will miss the playoffs will be The Monstars. The Monstars truly stink. Their wins come from weeks where they face teams on their worst scoring weeks (i.e. TGFY lowest week- 135.9). The Monstars have faced the 2nd fewest points in the entire league and that luck will soon run out. Aside from having one of the best schedules in the league, Eric's team gets HUGE production from 1 or 2 players a week and the rest of the team is garbage. This luck will soon run out and we will see this team struggle tremendously to put up just 130 points a week. You simply can't ride Danny Woodhead all season and rely on production from Garcon, Jackson, and Golden Tate...

Don't be surprised when a team who just a couple of weeks ago was a front runner to win the entire thing sinks to the bottom of the barrel. Mean Machine Child Beaters have single handedly traded their way out of playoff contention. They traded the best, I repeat the BEST tight end in the NFL and maybe even in the history of the NFL for a guy who saw 4 weeks of unbelievable production. Let's not forget they then threw in a top 10 WR in Emanuel Sanders and a starting QB in Nick Foles. All of this for a back that has not even proved himself to be a legit talent yet. I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what Joe 2 was thinking. This trade left them with nothing at WR and nothing at TE. They will NOT make the playoffs and sadly it is because of the trades they made. (Let's not forget we saved them from giving away the BEST QB in the game in AR for, yet again, peanuts...)

The team that may surprise everyone as a team that misses the playoffs is Team DTA. Kevin your team SUCKS. I listen to Shootin' the Breeze and hear Kevin talk about his team as a top contender and laugh out loud. This team is truly pitiful. They put all their eggs in one basket with Eli Manning who is awful despite having one of the best receiving cores in the league. Demarco Murray is horrible and will continue to struggle with the Eagles. Aside from decent depth at WR, this team has nothing. They WILL miss the playoffs and Kevin will never hear the end of it after all the shit he talks about other teams on STB. Kevin you are the Rex Ryan of PP. 

Now even though all of these teams will struggle and lose games, the rookie must start winning to climb the ladder to the 8 spot. I see a very favorable schedule ahead for the young buck. Week 8 he faces a banged up TGFY with their only legit back on a bye. He will win this matchup to get back on track. Week 9 brings a strong Trojan team to town. Luckily The Rookie will face them with 5 starters on a bye week leading to the rookies 3rd victory. Week 10 will be tough against the Romosexuals but this team may have been abandoned by their owner so anything could happen. Week 12 and 13 sees a shit DTA team and Child beaters who will be pondering on why they traded away a team of the century. Both of these teams will be getting a beaten from the rookies finally healthy squad led by Eddie Lacy back on track, Victor Cruz serving as a solid WR3 and Drew Brees playing for a playoff spot when he plays his best football. They will finish the year at 6-7and find themselves sitting at the 8 spot. This team will be dangerous come the playoffs and this league is being made aware of it now.

1st PP Trade in 2 Years VETOED

The first trade in over 2 seasons of Pussy Palace and this blockbuster trade was shut down by the PP Trade Committee. An argument can be made that the clarity of the rules could and should be adjusted moving foward however what foiled this trade was the excessive and open discussion of trade terms that would send each team players from each respected roster in a deal that would have been finalized at 1:10 PM Sunday afternoon- AFTER players would be locked. This would allow each team to hold onto each others players for 1 last weekend for matchup based purposes in addition to further roster construction among additional game integrity infringements. Basically- if the MMCB and RS kept this under wraps-this trade would have been processed without review. The issue was how it was brought about and expected in the group me forum.

After much uproar- PP members challenged teams that if indeed there was no competitive advantage to be had- to complete the trade today. Shortly thereafter- a new deal was in place including specifically WR Doug Baldwin -who just so happened to play last evening which ended in the same end result-locked player-halting the trade once again and a perhervial "fuck-you" to the other league members challenging the trade.

Bottom line - the trade was reviewed by the trade committee and viewed as collusion due to the manner it was presented and exposed prematurely to the league revealing a plot between the two teams to aid each other in a 1 week pact. The final vote came down to Mags who submitted the following statement-

"We are not here to pass judgment on who wins the trade or how lopsided this trade is. I do not believe the jd nor joe 2 have any intentions of combining teams or sabotaging the league. However anyone looks at the trade and who won the trade does not matter. On that note. For ONLY the pure fact they publicly told everyone that they were going to hold off and do the trade on Sunday so it would take effect Tuesday I have vetoed the trade."

With this being said the trade was the first trade vetoed in 2 PP seasons which ironically involved current PP Champ JD. The integrity of the league was not compromised and justice was served. Let this be a lesson to PP-keep unofficial trade talks confidential and this could be all avoided.

Shootin the Breeze 10/20

1/2 of team GFY joins us to shoot the breeze as we do best from the Two Roads Podcasting Studio!

https://m.soundcloud.com/kbasta1118/20151020-182415-1a

Co-Commissioners Corner Week 7

 

With Ortiz in the Stone Age lacking internet I (Thomas) will fill in for him this week on the corner.

 

Trade Deadline Reminder – Next Thursday is the deadline, has to be approved by Ortiz at noon or it won’t go through.  I do not have power to approve trades so please contact Ortiz.

 

Island Update – After a trade that I still feel Chuck lost, the chubbies shipped him off the island. Hopefully JD was waiting for him with a floatation device, but I have a feeling that JD would try to drown him just like the Mets did to the Cubs.  It seems as the week goes by, the average weight on the island increases dramatically.   Below are the teams left on the Island going into Week 7.

·        Team DTA

·        The Trojans 

·        Vonteego Cross

·        Mean Machine 

·        2 Cousins 1 Cup

·        Hail Mary to the King

With a lot of important players on bye this week, it will be interesting see who survives.

T

rade Recap – the interesting trade of the week was Mean Machine trading their only competent pass catchers in Gronk and Sanders to Hailmary to the King in a larger deal for Devonta Freeman.  Pat was also able to lock up the Cowboys backfield.  Joe 2 and Timbo now have the best pair of starting running backs along with JD, but the rest of the team is lacking depth. Pat is now poised to make a run since he is already one of the hottest teams in the league right now. 

 

FAAB Recap – It was a boring week for FAAB. The two highest price players scooped were Landry Jones and Stefan Diggs. Jones was grabbed by Eric in an attempt to block Maggs just like he did  to his cousin earlier this season.  Maggs was able to grab a better qb in Mettenberger for free though by waking up at the 5am to ensure he can field a full roster.  Maggs gets an award for his dedication and just being a try hard. Diggs is an interesting player.  I’m surprised that Ortiz, fresh off his loss to the Gingers, didn’t grab Diggs with his love of fast black guys that wear Purple.  Ortiz should finally give up on Charles Johnson since he has been passed on the depth chart. Demayo got a potential stud for a wide receiver 3, if you believe what Diggs’  teammates have said about him this week.

 

Week 6 Recap-

Beatdown of the Week

 

2 Cousins 1 Cup  (202) vs. All Fired Up (115.7)

All Fired up got beat up this week and thrown off the island.  4 players on 2 Cousins team combined to beat All Fired Up’s entire team. It was so bad that Chuck called the matchup halfway through the 3^rd quarter of the 1pmgames.   With two important wrs on bye along with Jameis Winston, All Fired Up was undermanned, but still 115 points is really bad.  Chuck is hoping Mike Evans finds whatever he had last year, because if he doesn’t, his team is in trouble.  

 

The Rookie (159.1) vs Hail Mary to the King (184.2)

The Rookie got 500 yards passing from Rivers, but still failed to win thanks to his running backs continuing to fail him.  If he kept Devonta Freeman, he would have easily won over Pat, but hindsight is 20/20. Christopher needs to regroup and win this week if he wants any chance of avoiding the consolation bracket. Right Now his team might as well be bye week because he is a sure fire victory for most teams in the league. Pat got great production from his running backs along with signs of life from Jimmy Graham (Wow he is alive).  Pat is the second hottest team in the league and looks to win his fourth in a row against the number 1 team in the league, 2 cousins.

 

The Romosexuals (181.2) vs Mean Machine Child Beaters (154.2)

After making a controversial trade that wasn’t processed due to the Thursday night game, Mean Machine continue to fall despite having one of the best running backs in Chris Ivory and getting solid qb play.  Andrew Luck was resurrected on Sunday getting a solid 31 points along with Calvin Johnson having a great game.  If Matthew Stafford continues to chuck it deep, Calvin will be back to be a high end WR very quickly. Mean Machine going forward is questionable at best and the author thinks that they will lose again this week, falling to 3-4.  They were number 1 in the power rankings a few weeks ago, now they aren’t even top 5. While they are falling, JD is on the rise. 

 

UPSET OF THE WEEK

Ginger Snaps (160.9) vs Vonteego Cross (125.2)

After destroying the Gingers all week, Ortiz failed to show up and fell to 2-4. The only people that showed were Kaep and Gary Barnidge while the gingers had exceptional qb play along with great production from their waiver wire wide outs.  Ortiz owes the Gingers an apology if he watched any of last Thursday’s game because Cooks  is garbage while Frank Gore will be productive the rest of the season.  Ortiz is 2-4, no shock from a guy that doesn’t watch sports.  Julio Jones can be had because Ortiz realizes his team is trash and he is on his way to the murphy bowl unless he shakes things up.

 

The Trojans (235.8) vs Team DTA (152.4)

Maggs had fantastic play across the board, especially from his qbs.  Martavis Bryant made quite the season debut, and I heard one person compare him to Josh Gordon.  His combination of size, speed, and love of drugs makes him a great comparison.  Maggs has rb question marks going forward, but he will be a solid team that is destined for the playoffs. Team DTA just ran into a buzz saw and nothing could be done.  A consistent scoring team with depth throughout the lineup will make them a favorite for the playoffs.

 

Matchup of the Week

The Monstars (155.8) vs Team GFY (135.9)

The Monstars had quite possibly the upset of the week any other week, thanks to Michael Vick being well Michael Vick and continuing to ruin Antonio Brown. The biggest play in this games was the touchdown with 30 seconds to go in the game of Cam Newton to Greg Olsen.  The play was worth at least 15 points by itself and sealed the win for Eric’s beloved Panthers.  Antonio Brown needs to rebound quickly if Team GFY wants to be a high seed come playoff time.  Both of the these teams are in a large pack of mediocre teams right now.

 

Week 6 pick results:

Wins: 2 Losses 4

Season Long: 18-12

 

Week 7 Picks (by Ortiz):

Vonteego Cross over The Rookie

2 Cousins 1 Cup over Hailmary to the King

Mean Machine over All Fired Up

The Romosexuals over Team DTA

Team GFY over The Gingersnaps

The Trojans over the Monstars

 

Final Note: I know this wasn’t as funny as Ortiz’s usually is, which makes sense because he is funnier than me, but I do want to note that it took me a while to do this. I appreciate Ortiz doing this every week for the league.  Good Luck in week 7

 

Bottom 4 Spotlight-The Rookie

Written by Thomas Davis

This is the first of a 4 part series looking at the bottom 4 teams performance so far and what the author thinks they should do as we approach the deadline next week.Trade deadline preview - What should The Rookie do?

We all know that Christopher has not had the best season.  He started out with the pick he still regrets of Brees over Brady that has completely changed the season for him.  It has continued with horrible start/sit decisions that he has made, leaving the most meat on the bone, including one week where he had 4 players get 0 points and another player get 1 point.  In addition to this, it appears he got raped in the ass by Pat (sorry Ortiz, you aren’t the only one), when he made the Freeman for Lacy trade. He traded his best keepers away a few weeks ago in Freeman and Ingram (2 players that combined for 56.2 points last week, 49.3 points more than his starting running backs) in what appears to be a combination of a believed sell high move along with an attempt to win now.  Should Christopher continue along this path or reverse course and start building for next year?  

He should try and win now because looking over his roster, he has several players that are performing very well including Rivers and Allen. He also has some underperforming studs including Lacy and Thomas that can turn around and deliver first or second round value.  He should make a trade for depth at either wide receiver or running back. Some potential options are a Chiefs running back in a trade with Maggs so one team can lock up the Chiefs pathetic backfield or maybe moving one of his qbs to Chuck for a running back and quarter back. The final option is continuing to invest in studs that value might be depressed like he did with Lacy, such as Dez Bryant, who might come back and be a top 3 wide receiver. 

Christopher needs starting caliber players in his lineup immediately but can make a move up the standings quickly since he is only 2 games back from the final playoff spot and has a chance to beat Ortiz’s team this week. He does have a hard schedule though after Ortiz so he needs to win this week, if he hopes to make a run.  

 

8/17 BDBN Shootin' The Breeze Podcast

SHOOTIN' THE BREEZE PODCAST 10/17

Commissioner’s Corner Week 5

Welcome back to the Commissioner’s Corner. On this week’sepisode, we will be recapping week 5’s shenanigans and giving out the Week 6 predictions.

Island Update

Week 5 Update!

The Machete resurfaced back to the island when he ran out of fish to swallow. He proceeded to stalk The Romosexuals and finally he caught his pray. Rumor has it; the Machete ate The Romosexuals raw and has replaced The Romosexuals on the island. 

Onofrio stole my steam with the National Inquirer cover, and I cannot think of anything funnier to say. Team GFY continue their streak of bad luck and get booted off the island. 

Free Agent Auction Recap:

Two teams made is rain FAAB cash this week. Mean Machine went bankrupt while wasting all their remaining FAAB cash on EJ Manuel, who turned out to still be the backup. Tough break for the Mean Machine.  The Rookie went nuts to solve his RB2 debacle. This nigga dropped $61 on a guy who may not get the bulk of the carries and who has done nothing in his NFL career so far. I hope The Rookie has something up his sleeve with this move for his sake.

Trade Recap:

Team DTA minus the ghost have been saying it for weeks that Cassel would take over the job. Hats off to ya on this call. Hopefully you get JD’s cheap ass to pay up any bet he made with you on this situation. You pushed hard for gold for 3 weeks, and once it was announced that Cassel had the job, you settled for bronze. I am sure Crabtree will be okay, but this one was a head scratcher considering your previous asking price. 

I will not go into detail about the other trade, but I will leave you with 3 facts. 

1. It was a horrible deal.

2. Murphy is a joke.

3. Ginger is gay.

Week 5 Recap:

All Fired Up (168.1) vs The Romosexuals (153)

Tantrums were thrown, and tears were shed (literally). Poor managing lost this one for The Romosexuals. I cannot fathom a world where someone would start Ryan Mallet over Superstar Matt Hasslebeck. The Romosexuals need to go on a soul searching mission after this loss. All Fired Up keeps living by the motto, “Offense sells tickets, and defense wins games”.

The Monstars (135.3) vs Vonteego Cross (160.1)

Peyton Manning continues to disappoint for the Monstars, and could not help capitalize on a Monstar performance by Blake Bortles. The Monstars tried banking on the Giants D, but Kaepernick reminded them why Ron Jaworski said that he could be the “Greatest Quarterback of All Time”. 

Team GFY (134.7) vs Team DTA (159.8)

Team GFY cannot get out of their own way this season. There is nothing they can do until they get healthy. Team DTA hopped on Eli’s back and never looked back. Also, a note to both of you, stop streaming defenses and find a good one.

Ortiz’s Fleshlight (121.5) vs One Boob Circus Freak (148.5)

The Rookie wrote a check his team couldn’t cash. After all the shit talking he did, he lost, and never had a chance. Who the fuck is Mumphrey? And why would you start him over Andre Johnson? One Boob Circus Freak looks legit this season and continues to go unnoticed as a top team in this league.

Beat Down of the Week

Hail Mary To The King (188.5) vs The Gingersnaps (100.7)

Rick had player score half of The Gingersnaps points, and that player was on his bench. The Gingersnaps start their Beat Down of the Week streak and I don’t see it stopping any time soon.

Matchup of the Week

Mean Machine Child Beaters (151.9) vs The Trojans (167.9)

Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Gates, G to the ATES. Yeah, this match was really tight until this guy came back and went nuts. The duel tight end play may have cost Mean Machine in this matchup, but they should bounce back next week.

Week 5 Pick Results!

Wins: 5 Losses: 1

Season Long: 16-8

Week 6 Picks!

Vonteego Cross over The Gingersnaps

One Boob Circus Freak over All Fired Up

Ortiz’s Fleshlight over Hail Mary To The King

Mean Machine Child Beaters over The Romosexuals

Team GFY over The Monstars

The Trojans over Team DTA

National Enquirer October 2015 Edition

Before team GFY got the big boot off the island in week 5 of PP- they decided to tie the knot before setting out for a long getaway at sea! See the exclusive photos ONLY on PussyPalaceFF.com!

Moments after taking their vows on the ISLAND!

Off to sea for team GFY! With all that chub they shouldn't go hungry anytime soon!

Meat Left On The Bone

 As famously quoted by Joseph Randle referring to the yards DeMarco Murray supposedly left on the field last year. We take a look into Pussy Palace to see who indeed has left the most points on the board due to poor roster management or unlucky decision making. The rankings and points through week 5 are as followed.

 

1 – Rookie                                                                 264.7

2. – Hailmary to the King                                            254.2

3. – Thomas/Fabish                                                   250.3

4. - DTA                                                                     234.3

5. – Romosexuals                                                      222

6. – All Fired Up                                                          215.1

7. – Mean Machine                                                      211.5

8. – GFY                                                                     193.1

9. – Gingersnaps                                                        185

10. – Monstars                                                             174.4

11. – Trojans                                                               136.6

12. – Vonteego Cross                                                  128.2

 

After calculating totals two conclusions can safely be made. One, Ortiz bench really stinks hence the point total. He continues to carry waiver fodder players such as Charles Johnson, Nelson Agholor, and Luke Keuchly who is an extra IDP which he hated. Secondly, Rookie has left the most points on the board. No shock…. With horrible roster decisions such as the one last Thursday choosing Keith Mumphery over Andre Johnson’s revenge game this team is destined straight for the Murphy and do not pass go.

 

As for this week here are a few of the top week 5 performers that were benched with much meat to be had- left on the bone.

 

Ginger Snaps: WR, Anquan Boldin  24.7

 

Ginger Snaps finally got a big game out of Anquan Boldin but wait….he was on their bench.  San Fran looks like they will be playing from behind often and Colin K finally realized it might make sense to get the ball into the hands of his most trusted weapon.  Not only did the Ginger snaps find the gay capital of the world  … they look like they may have found a week to week starter in San Francisco….

 

MMCB: RB, Shane Vereen 25

 

Man oh man. This one hurts…Vereen was their highest scoring RB….and he was on their bench while he went off all game.  Not only that- if the Child beaters started sugar shane they could have held off the trojans this week.. instead they got cute and got a piss poor 1 point performance in there flex from Charles Clay and solidified themselves a heartbreaking loss last night  as they watched helplessly as Gates had his way on their 14 point lead heading into MNF..

 

TEAM DTA: QB, Joe Flacco 25.6

 

Team DTA really can’t seem to get it right. Since week 1 they have been flip-flopping which QB to use.  Mariota or Flacco.  Every week they go with the one and the other has a monster game.  Go figure. Will team DTA make the right QB start in week 6 or will they plummet and leave more meat on the bone?!

 

Rookie: WR, Andre Johnson 25.7

 

Can we say fantasy zombie?! Finally Dre rose from the dead for at least a night and lived up to his draft pedigree. Will this output continue or was Dre just acting cool in front of his friends and family back home in Texas?! Either way the Rookie has to be licking his chops in hopes for it to continue – he has been creaming over Dre since he traded for him, even more so than he has in the many, many nights of the Tampa area’s finest nudie bars.

 

HM2TK: QB, Josh McCown 47.5

 

Tisk tisk tisk Rick. A bonus player on the bench.  Highly likely to be the best output your trash QBs will put out all season and McCown rides the pine. This chubby chicken wing was left untouched and was hidden under a mound of celery and carrots only to get taken away after dinner and fed to the dogs!!! AHAHAHHA this one has to hurt more than Rick’s chafed…..

 

 

Written by Kevin Basta and Chuck-ESPNBDBN Exclusive

 

 

 

 

A Champion's Undoing

One of the biggest surprises of the season thus far has to be the performance of the reigning, defending Pussy Palace Champion, The Romosexuals. The Romoesxuals were lauded by most for the keepers of Le’Veon Bell and Carlos Hyde, and then the highly controversial trade for Andrew Luck.  

 

In fact, few have been quoted that Joe 2 and Timbo should be kicked out of the league WHEN, not if, but WHEN The Romosexuals repeat as champion. Barring a 37.9 breakout game from Bell, The Romosexuals will move to a paltry 1-4 through 5 weeks. With Luck, Bell, Hyde already in the fold, the Romosexuals proceeded to draft the likes of Tony Romo, Calvin Johnson, Arian Foster and others.

 

On paper, it was thought The Romosexuals could be an unstoppable force. After week 1 when Hyde put up a 30+ point game to make a big comeback against Vonteego Cross, it was thought to be sign of things to come. From there, everything has down spiraled. There have been elite performances against him (two 218+ point games in a row) and some horrible offensive performances/lineup decisions.

 

Where do The Romosexuals go from here? One would think they should be dealing from their RB’s to obtain some WR, or maybe even QB upgrades. Some would say they should stay pat and assume the talent will eventually gel together. It is not going to be an easy trek to get back in the playoffs at 1-4. His week 6 matchup with the Mean Machine Child Beaters has to be considered an absolute MUST win for The Romosexuals. 1-5 very well may be an insurmountable deficit.

 

Once considered THE favorite to win the championship this year, could The Romosexuals find themselves in the consolation bracket? Or even worse, the Murphy Bowl?? Time will tell. But a change needs to happen there. Whether that is trade(s), or simply better production from the players that he does have, SOMETHING has to change before it is too late.

 

This is the first installment of a weekly series to be posted exclusively on PussyPalaceFF.com. Written by Joe DeMayo

 

Commissioner's Corner 10/8

Welcome back to the Commissioner’s Corner. On this week’sepisode, we will be recapping week 4’s shenanigans and giving out the Week 5 predictions.

Island Update

The Trojans couldn’t handle living off the land on the island anymore. He needed variety in his diet and he dove into the ocean for some old fashion manatee like fishing. Unfortunately, he never resurfaced. Rumors swirled and the rest of the island thinks that he ate so much, that he sank to the bottom and drowned to death. Needless to say, The Trojans are off the island.  

Free Agent Auction Recap:

There was a lot of wasted FAAB money this week, in my opinion of course. $26 for a STILL backup QB was a tad excessive, but The Gingersnaps spent the rest of their money on a nice pick up in Charlie Sims. Team GFY went borderline bankrupt with the nice pick up for Kamar Aiken. 

Trade Recap:

Hail Mary To The King Panicked and sold Eddie Lacy low for Devaonta Freeman on a sell high. Great move for The Rookie.  Shortly after The Rookie made a great move, he for some reason unknown decided to make a horrible move.  He traded his only option of an RB 2 for Cruz who might not play for a few more weeks’ ad can’t hide his being baddddd, a back up RB, and a 4th to 5th string WR. Vonteego Cross swapped QBS in an attempt to hopefully upgrade (looks like a failure) and received a rock solid WR 3 in exchange for, in my opinion, the RB 1 that Mean Machine was looking for. Vonteego Cross still has faith in Kaepernick.

Week 4 Recap:

The Sodomising Cousins (156.7) vs The Romosexuals (128.5)

Weathering the storm of missing Brady was no issue for The Sodomising Cousins in this matchup. The Dream Team continues the slide into mediocrity. Will they have to make a major move? Or will the captain go down with the ship?

Team GFY (152) vs Mean Machine Child Beaters (138.4)

Team GFY bounces back from a poor performance last week as the rest of the roster stepped up this week. Mean Machine’s WRs couldn’t get it going this week. Even with their big pickup and debut of Chris Ivory, the Mean Machine could not get it done this week.

All Fired Up (151.1) vs The Trojans (129.5)

From a historical week last week, to off the island this week.That is the story of the Trojan’s season. Will the Trojans be able to survive Steve Smith’s death? Welcome to the league Duke Johnson. All Fired Up continues their undefeated season and looks forward to their matchup with the struggling Romosexualsnext week.

Hail Mary To The King (133.4) vs The Monstars (127.2)

In the Cow Manure Bowl, these shit rosters lived up to the bill. Rick finally gets a win but continuously makes stupid trades to worsen the roster. The Monstars are going to have to fill out the roster better and find depth if they are going to be contending this week. Will The Monstars seek a move for this year or build for next?

Beat Down of the Week

The Rookie (182.3) vs The Gingersnaps (121)

The Rookie backed up his unwarranted shit talking this week and came out strong. The Gingersnaps never really stood a chance in this one. Will Murphy and Ginger come together and work together to improve their roster?

Matchup of the Week

Vonteego Cross (136.7) vs Team DTA (133.4)

In a battle to the very end, Vonteego Cross holds off Haushkaand the Monday Night Miracle.  DTA needs to figure out the RB position if they are going to continue to contend this year. Vonteego Cross got away with this lucky win this week, but cannot continue to let their matchups come down to Monday Nights.

Week 4 Pick Results!

Wins: 4 Losses: 2

Season Long: 11-7

Week 5 Picks!

Vonteego Cross over The Monstars

The Sodomising Cousins over The Rookie

Hail Mary To The King over The Gingersnaps

All Fired Up over The Romosexuals

Team GFY over Team DTA

The Trojans over Mean Machine Child Beaters