Meat Left On The Bone

 As famously quoted by Joseph Randle referring to the yards DeMarco Murray supposedly left on the field last year. We take a look into Pussy Palace to see who indeed has left the most points on the board due to poor roster management or unlucky decision making. The rankings and points through week 5 are as followed.

 

1 – Rookie                                                                 264.7

2. – Hailmary to the King                                            254.2

3. – Thomas/Fabish                                                   250.3

4. - DTA                                                                     234.3

5. – Romosexuals                                                      222

6. – All Fired Up                                                          215.1

7. – Mean Machine                                                      211.5

8. – GFY                                                                     193.1

9. – Gingersnaps                                                        185

10. – Monstars                                                             174.4

11. – Trojans                                                               136.6

12. – Vonteego Cross                                                  128.2

 

After calculating totals two conclusions can safely be made. One, Ortiz bench really stinks hence the point total. He continues to carry waiver fodder players such as Charles Johnson, Nelson Agholor, and Luke Keuchly who is an extra IDP which he hated. Secondly, Rookie has left the most points on the board. No shock…. With horrible roster decisions such as the one last Thursday choosing Keith Mumphery over Andre Johnson’s revenge game this team is destined straight for the Murphy and do not pass go.

 

As for this week here are a few of the top week 5 performers that were benched with much meat to be had- left on the bone.

 

Ginger Snaps: WR, Anquan Boldin  24.7

 

Ginger Snaps finally got a big game out of Anquan Boldin but wait….he was on their bench.  San Fran looks like they will be playing from behind often and Colin K finally realized it might make sense to get the ball into the hands of his most trusted weapon.  Not only did the Ginger snaps find the gay capital of the world  … they look like they may have found a week to week starter in San Francisco….

 

MMCB: RB, Shane Vereen 25

 

Man oh man. This one hurts…Vereen was their highest scoring RB….and he was on their bench while he went off all game.  Not only that- if the Child beaters started sugar shane they could have held off the trojans this week.. instead they got cute and got a piss poor 1 point performance in there flex from Charles Clay and solidified themselves a heartbreaking loss last night  as they watched helplessly as Gates had his way on their 14 point lead heading into MNF..

 

TEAM DTA: QB, Joe Flacco 25.6

 

Team DTA really can’t seem to get it right. Since week 1 they have been flip-flopping which QB to use.  Mariota or Flacco.  Every week they go with the one and the other has a monster game.  Go figure. Will team DTA make the right QB start in week 6 or will they plummet and leave more meat on the bone?!

 

Rookie: WR, Andre Johnson 25.7

 

Can we say fantasy zombie?! Finally Dre rose from the dead for at least a night and lived up to his draft pedigree. Will this output continue or was Dre just acting cool in front of his friends and family back home in Texas?! Either way the Rookie has to be licking his chops in hopes for it to continue – he has been creaming over Dre since he traded for him, even more so than he has in the many, many nights of the Tampa area’s finest nudie bars.

 

HM2TK: QB, Josh McCown 47.5

 

Tisk tisk tisk Rick. A bonus player on the bench.  Highly likely to be the best output your trash QBs will put out all season and McCown rides the pine. This chubby chicken wing was left untouched and was hidden under a mound of celery and carrots only to get taken away after dinner and fed to the dogs!!! AHAHAHHA this one has to hurt more than Rick’s chafed…..

 

 

Written by Kevin Basta and Chuck-ESPNBDBN Exclusive