Commissioner’s Corner

Welcome back to the Commissioner’s Corner. On this week’sepisode, we will be recapping week 3’s shenanigans and giving out the Week 4 predictions.

Island Update

After finally realizing they were not actually on a gay cruise, The Gingersnaps were infuriated. They took their anger to the bar around the corner, where they drank entirely way too much and went cliff jumping and didn’t see that there wasn’t water down below. The Grim Reaper showed up to collect their souls, but left empty handed after realizing they were Gingers. Their bodies were poked by a stick into the ocean by BDBN so that they could be eaten by sharks.

Free Agent Auction Recap:

With Big Ben going down for the forseable future, Team GFY spent ¾ of their total FAAB budget on 2016 Michael Vick (not 2007) to try and salvage the next 6 weeks. Sexy rookie, KarlosWilliams was scooped by Vonteego Cross for $25. Through 3 free agent auction periods, team’s FAAB budgets are dwindling. This will get interesting as the season progresses.

Trade Recap:

In a quiet trade week, there was only one that we could bring up this week. All Fired Up traded Lance Dunbar for The Gingersnap’s Davante Adams. As soon as All Fired Up accepted the deal, Adams got hurt. This trade is looking good for The Gingersnaps getting Dunbar who is looking like a ppr machine.

Week 3 Recap:

Special Olympic Runnerups (153.4) vs The Gingersnaps (94.5)

The Gingersnaps need to change something up after this sub 100 point performance. The Special Olympic Runnerups only had to show up to win this matchup. It only took 4 players on their roster to surpass The Gingersnap’s lackluster performance.

The Rookie (130.2) vs The Monstars (152.6)

The Rookie had 7 players combine for 12.5 points. That has to be some type of record. The Rookie needs to stop focusing his trades on stars, and find some depth to get out of this 0-3 slump. The Monstars had an another average week to keep the train rolling to a 2-1 record.

All Fired Up (183.9) vs Team GFY (143.3)

After a lot of shit talk throughout the week, All Fired Up did what they said they would do and beat the powerhouse team of Team GFY. Team GFY had a case of some bad luck with injuries but should be able to bounce back next week.

Hail Mary To The King (131.4) vs Team DTA (201.3)

In this matchup, Team DTA came out to prove who the real retard is.  Rick is a shell of him old self and I have heard rumors that he may be all washed up. Will Rick get on the trade wire and make moves to turn his season around? Or will he be wearing a maid outfit pouring our beer? Both are valid questions. Nice week Team DTA.

Beat Down of the Week

The Romosexuals (109.5) vs The Trojans (249)

In the Gas Alliance Bowl, The Trojans put up some historic numbers and dominated The Romosexuals. With questions and injuries, The Romosexuals are starting to remind me of the 2011 Philadelphia Eagle’s Dream Team. Way to lay the hammer Machete.

Matchup of the Week

Vonteego Cross (175.4) vs Mean Machine Child Beaters(226.1)

Mean Machine continued to prove the haters wrong with a third strong performance in a row. Vonteego Cross could not get any RB production this week and it turned out to be the death of him. Mean Machine seem to be legit and here to stay.

Week 3 Pick Results!

Wins: 4 Losses: 2

Season Long: 7-5

Week 4 Picks!

Vonteego Cross over Team DTA

Special Olympic Runnerups over The Romosexuals

The Rookie over The Gingersnaps

All Fired Up over The Trojans

Team Monstars over Hail Mary To The King

Mean Machine Child Beaters over Team GFY