Second quarter of the 2015-2016 pussy palace season
Hello everyone and welcome to the second edition of Timbo’s quarterly analysis. A ton has gone on since the last quarter ended and this has been another interesting season to say the least. Rick as usual couldn't resist making a flurry of trades and as a result his team is now a big time contender. All fired up has continued their domination and a few other teams have separated themselves from the pack. While others have made trades they thought would have helped but they're still wallowing at the bottom, I'm looking at you mean machine and bye week. So let's get into the team by team analysis according to Timbo.
Coming in at the number one spot is ALLLLLLLLL FIRED UP. Mike has been powered by his strong tight end play and his early draft gamble on Amari Cooper. He sured up his quarterbacks by trading for a returning to form drew Brees who just came off an epic 500 yard 7 touchdown performance and once again proving that the rookie doesn't know what he's doing. The two second place teams are coming on strong with big numbers so all fired up will need contributions from everyone to stay in first and take the regular season trophy home.
Two teams in second are battling it out to make it tough on all fired up. The Trojans, who had an uncharacteristic horrible week scoring wise and losing their spot on the island narrowly. And fabish and Tom's team who just plain took the mean machine to the woodshed. The Trojans are anchored by a great qb wr combo in aj green and Andy Dalton who have just exploded offensively this season, however the same still applies can they finish the season strong and prove the doubters wrong? Me being one of the doubters burned by aj green last year, I don't think this team has what it takes to go all the way due to too many inconsistencies.
Next up is Tom and fabish’s team, who is riding tfb harder than Gisele ever could and shows no signs of slowing down. This team is deep and scary and is my pick half way through the season to take home the title. The emergence of Willie Snead and James Jones has sent this team into the stratosphere and there just aren't any weak spots in this lineup.
Next up are the middle of the pack teams, the King, fuck yourself, the monstars, child beaters, and dta. Out of these teams, the King looks like he is poised to make a run and make some noise in the playoffs. He's made some great moves acquiring Julio, gronk, and tannehill. Rick will be tough to beat come playoff time. Fuck yourself is the other solid team in this pack. Derek Carr is coming into his own and he has lethal wide receivers, the stretch run should be fun with all these very strong teams. Team dta is just meh, Manning and Marshall can be good enough to keep them afloat but I don't believe they'll be making any type of run in the playoffs. The monstars have benefited from weak play against them as they are second to last in points scored. Cam is like cam in real life with no supporting cast. Don't think this team has enough to float into the playoffs.
This brings me to the mean machine. This team has been hurt by lack of depth due to trying to acquire some firepower, when fully assembled this team has some decent potential but they need to make it through the rest of the bye weeks in contention for that to matter. Big bold highly controversial moves will either be the undoing, or the building blocks of a dynasty for this team with some amazing keeper options. On a good day this team which was saved by a vetoed trade, can hang with any team. But if Rodgers continues to struggle they could miss the playoffs entirely.
This brings me to the bottom quarter of the league, a surprise name here in the romosexuals as they were thought by some to be the team to beat this year, and they have been, beaten, badly. The team has underperformed at every turn and in my mind is now OUT of contention as are the Mets! Andrew luck has been a bust and Calvin is in one of the worst offenses. Not even great keeper potential on this team as he can no longer keep luck, Hyde is atrocious, and who know what bell will look like coming back from this surgery. On to the commish, nothing sexy about this team it is very un- ortizlike. Gurley though is shaping up to be a monster. Ortiz falls in the category of team to watch Next year if he corrects his drafting mistakes and can build around the Gurley man. Look for this team to spoil a season or two down the stretch.
That brings me to the bottom, the cellar dwellers, the trash of the league. Gingers, who haven't had their first round pick all year and didn't hit on many of their picks, don't have much they can really count on week in and week out. No keepers to speak of, and no hope to make the playoffs. That brings me to the ROOKIE, the cockiest piece of shit team I've ever had the displeasure of creating a rivalry with. Ortiz must have teabagged you and rubbed his terrible drafting skills, trading skills, and cockiness with a terrible team off on you. I honestly have never seen any worse of a team be as cocky as the rookie. My first four OUT of the playoffs are the romosexuals, the gingers, the bye week, and the monstars. This concludes my quarterly analysis, the next will come in three weeks!
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