Commissioners Corner Week 2

Commissioner’s Corner

Welcome back to the Commissioner’s Corner. On this week’sepisode, we will be recapping week 2’s shenanigans and giving out the Week 3 predictions.

Island Update

After the league threw The Rookie and Vonteego Cross into the water to fight to the death, Vonteego threw the green hood over his head, fired an arrow between The Rookie’s eyes, and watched as The Rookie was carried off into the ocean and off the island for good.

Free Agent Auction Recap:

Well I didn’t think I would be able to say this in week 2, but Rick has no more BWUUUUUUHHHCCCKKKS.  In an outrageous overspend, Rick paid $74 for Brandon Weeden. I mean if you want some, I guess you have to spend what he’s worth to you? In other news, iCheat added Jimmy Claussen for $21 to cover Tom Brady’s bye week. Mean Machine dropped some big coin on Rishard Matthews for $20 in a depth move, and James Starks for $18 praying for a competent running back. The last big money acquisition was Travis Benjamin by The Gingersnaps (In a tie with Team GFY who also bid $16, but had a lower waiver priority) for $16 to try and replace Dez Bryant. Through two weeks of free agent bidding, some teams haven’t spent a dime while others have spent almost half (or all if you’reRick). It’ll be interesting which free agents the faab cash hoarding teams are waiting to pounce on.

Trade Recap:

The Rookie went nuts. He made two trades where in my opinion, he improved at QB and WR while downgrading at RB. Cutler getting hurt made a move necessary due to the lack of a backup QB, and Thomas snaking Cutler’s backup in free agency. Onofrio bent over his BDBN brother in order to get a high upside WR for Bishop Sucky. In a shocking development, Murphy targeted yet another Ram and got his man. For some reason, Murphy wanted the shittier Ram in this Ram for Ram deal though.

Week 2 Recap:

All Fired Up (172) vs Vonteego Cross (124.6)

Vonteego Cross has some soul searching to do after that poor performance. Struggling to get double digits out of more than half of his team, Vonteego cross did not stand a chance against All Fired Up.  AP came back to form and there was some big production from unexpected places.

The Trojans (175.6) vs The Stuttering BLOB (152)

The Trojans came to play this week in which was a clash of the titans. Even with Tom Brady hitting our first bonus of the year, it wasn’t enough to overcome The Trojans big week. Every starter but one hit double digits for Machete. 

The Gingersnaps (129.9.3) vs The Monstars (158.2)

Jeff Fisher couldn’t even help The Gingersnaps shit RBs. After swallowing Abdullah’s load, it proved to be too much for the Ambiguous Gay Duo to handle as Super Cam repeatedly bashed a building over Murphy’s face trying to make is look prettier.

The Rookie (122.3) vs Team DTA (158.7)

This matchup reminded me of an Andre the Giant vs 3 Mexicanjobbers on a Saturday Night’s Main Event. With barely over 20 points from his 3 WRs combined, The Rookie’s team flat sucked. Team DTA could have benched half of their team and still would have come on top.

Beat Down of the Week

Mean Machine Child Beaters (179.3) vs Hail Mary To The King (130)

Hail Mary To The Has Been needs to figure out what’s going on with this roster. We are almost 3 weeks in and shockingly, Rick still has his drafted team almost intact. Mean Machine doesn’t do anything flashy for the highlight reels, but they get the job done.

Matchup of the Week

Team GFY (217.8) vs The Romosexuals (177.4)

Team GFY came, Team GFY saw, Team GFY conquered.

Week 2 Pick Results!

Wins: 3 Losses: 3

Week 3 Picks!

Vonteego Cross over Mean Machine Child Beaters

Team iCheat over The Gingersnaps

The Trojans over The Romosexuals

The Monstars over The Rookie

Team GFY over All Fired Up

Team DTA over Hail Mary To The King