Timbo’s draft grades for 2017-18 pussy palace! Last year I think I nailed a few, but also got shelled on a few i.e. Ricks big fat F- leading up to a pussy palace championship, couldn't have been more wrong on that one but hey nobody's perfect so on we move to this season and it's shaping up to be a pretty good competitive year.
First up the number one overall Monstars: draft grade C+. I chose this grade for Eric because I think he is spread super thin this season in key areas. His quarterbacks leave much to be desired and his running back core will have to be all David Johnson all the time. Time will tell if Dj can fire on all cylinders for the entire season with the workload he's bound to face and defenses game planning for him each and every week. That being said when Pierre Garcon is your weakest receiver that's a good problem to have. If the monstars want to make it to the playoffs this year it's their wide receivers that'll have to do the heavy lifting.
Next up the number 2, and I do mean the stinky smelliest of number 2’s pussy palace has seen in a very long time, Vonteego Cross. Draft grade:B- Vonteego in my opinion took a great draft spot and downgraded big time. Going from Aaron Rodgers to Cam Newton. Vonteego’s need to be sexy and not smart may hurt them in the stretch run but overall the team is fairly well balanced. No big names at running back individually but I think as a unit they will be formidable. If Sammy Watkins can stay on the field the wide receiver core is studly for Vonteego. They'll have to make up for the fact that the teams quarterback situation is lackluster but I think this is a playoff team.
Next up Mean Machine Child Beaters Draft grade:B Balance was the name of the game for MMCB this year. With solid, reliable staples holding down the core of this team. You can't predict year to year but if the team performs to its potential, which is never a give in, I think this is a solid team that should put up consistent numbers all season. Look for the mean machine to be a top scoring team each week with potential at all the key positions to have monster games.
Now we have the Trojans: Draft grade:B+ The Trojans keepers will be their saving grace this season. Melvin Gordon and Michael Thomas should anchor this team to a strong season despite the trashy quarterbacks it's owner provided. Deep everywhere but at quarterback this team has really gambled on stud position players but ultimately come playoff time I think the team will slip up with no quarterbacks to put up those big games needed to win playoff games and championships. I predict a strong season but unless a move is made, which is unlikely for this owner as they usually stand pat, the team will fall short at the end.
Team GO FUCK YOURSELF- draft grade: B team GFY had a great situation where Lev Bell fell to them and they gladly scooped him up. Strong runningbacks lead this team and if Carson Palmer can give them anything at all this team could be a surprise horse for the championship. Wide receiver core is solid but nothing to write home about. One of the top tight ends giving them a good positional advantage against most of the league.
Next up: No Bobby No- draft grade: C- a disappointing draft for a usually solid team. I'm not a believer in their quarterbacks or wide receivers, but man oh man they have a stud backfield. If you believe runningbacks win titles this team has the best. Grading this team on backfield alone would be an A+, but the rest of the team will be the downfall. I'm predicting a less than stellar, long season for No Bobby No I just don't think the runningbacks will be able to make up for the lack of receiver depth and no big threat at qb. A near miss for the playoffs for this team.
The rookie- draft grade: D+ Solid quarterback play and a boom or bust tight end is all that separates the rookie from a trip to the Murphy bowl. Completely ignoring his runningbacks for most of the draft will come back to haunt the youngster and with no bye week qb as of yet this team has too many question marks and not enough answers. The rookie has some work to do if he wants this team to be competitive.
Hail Mary to the king- draft grade C- can't give someone with 2 top five quarterbacks much lower of a rating but I tried. Qbs will keep Hmtk relevant this year and if Martin comes back strong can't count this team out with a solid 60-70 points coming every week from the qb position. He needs some help but a savvy owner who usually wins on his trades throughout the season could help this team squeak into the playoffs.
Gingersnaps- draft grade:D gingersnaps new co owner took the reigns for the draft and the results haven't changed much. Another season relying on an injury prone player to carry the team. A quarterback unsure about his future and with not a lot of weapons to throw to. Lots of mediocre wide receivers. This team won't be the easy win it was last year, but I predict a missed playoff again for the gingers.
Team DTA: draft grade: D team DTA is relying heavily on a rookie running back to carry them this season. Marcus mariota is a question mark on how he'll return from an injury that could cost him a lot of momentum as he was looking like a top 5 qb last season. A few solid players but as a unit this team doesn't have the looks of a championship contender so far.
Alllllllllllll FIRREEEEDDDD UPPPPPP!! Draft grade:D- this team was a tough one to grade and could be one of the ones that I'm wrong about. AFU is going all in on unproven values this season. Who knows about the health of Andrew Luck? Rookie running backs, a second year qb with a ton of weapons at his disposal. So many unknowns could leave this team in last place, or contending. I'm leaning towards last place I don't think AFU has the firepower to keep up with the top teams this season.
Last up The Romosexuals- Draft grade:B+ the romosexuals have a solid team built around an above average tandem of qbs. Aj green the ppr machine will have to stay healthy and hold down a group of receivers that are boom or bust types. The biggest issue is can McFadden come close to the production he will miss from 7 weeks of an absent zeke? Maybe he will catch a break and his appeal will drag on? Or maybe that will hurt him in the playoff push.
I don't see any teams right now that are head and shoulders above the pack, I'm looking forward to a great competitive season this year with a tight race for the title! Good luck to all the teams and here's to a great season
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